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Eat with schizophrenia

Feb. 7th, 2016 | 12:48 pm
mood: crappycrappy

The schizophrenia has been picking onto me involving my eating habits. This pickiness is terrible big time. As a result I spite the schizophrenia by eating lots of chocolate. Ugh so what's mew?

Also schizophrenia has been yelling at me "Eat something decent! Eat healthy!"
Mostly related to my chocolate crappy eating. Ugh. Can't I eat more fruits and veggies than lots of chocolate and cheese? This sucks big time when I can't seem to eat much healthy related foods. Ugh.

I eat lots of cheese and chocolate foods. That's something I need to eat in moderation than eating too much of both in one sitting. Ugh I don't like it when I'm addicted to cheese and chocolate that I'll eat way too much of that in one sitting. It's terrible big time when I eat too much of that especially today's meals. I wound up eating too much cheesy foods and chocolate today so far. Ugh.

I didn't buy much fruits and veggies when I went grocery shopping yesterday. I think I should have but I didn't bother. This stinks when I don't bother buying much fruits and veggies enough to eat both of them. Ugh really annoying!

Also schizophrenia has been blaring whenever I eat crap foods "Pig! Your a pig!"
The schizophrenia has been saying that saying over and over to the point I'm aggravated when I eat foods. Also I get that when I go to the kitchen to eat something. The saying is terrible and really annoys me occasionally enough to try to eat something healthy but it's sucks when I eat junk foods. Ugh.

My friend Maureen has been trying to get me to try other foods than just cheesy foods and chocolate. I'm trying out foods at restaurants when I get around to going to there for buying lunch foods when I eat lunch with Maureen. I'm trying to explore other foods to eat other than just cheesy foods. Also just something else than a grilled cheese sandwich my favorite food I like to eat.

I made a joke of that sandwich being a part of a healthy issue for a story's character eating that foods like recovering from something bad to the health. It's sort of like eating the food sandwich to gain healthy strength back. I thought it'll be a nice joke hence I mentioning that in my story involving this character Jinks Montreal in the series "I am Lance Richard, deity Lord." I thought it'll be funny I guess.

Hence I eat with the schizophrenia and trying to eat some decent healthy foods.

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Stressful day yesterday

Feb. 6th, 2016 | 08:25 am
mood: tiredtired

I wound up getting a new lounge chair delivered to my home yesterday. I had to sit next to the window waiting forever for that truck to arrive. It was rather stressful having to sit there watching out the window. I didn't have the heat on because I was sweating and stressed. Ugh.

The chair arrived to my relief and turned out to be like a dream. Except the schizophrenia has been picky onto me involving that chair. The schizophrenia has been trashing my like involving that chair as in selling it online for some cheapskate price. Ugh Really not what I had in mind to put up with from the schizophrenia involving that chair. Really rude of the schizophrenia to do that.

The schizophrenia has been rudely trashing things I like to make me feel upset about liking them. Like my cat occasionally. The schizophrenia has been picking onto me for having a cat as in trying to get me to toss her outside occasionally. I don't want to do that. I prefer to keep the kitty safe inside my home for kisses and cuddles. I love that little furball too much to slather kisses onto her including hugging her too much. I depend on that cat for emotional needs like hugs and kisses when I want to feel better. I don't care what the schizophrenia says I'm keeping the cutest cat ever in my home period.

I noticed whatever I'm happy about the schizophrenia is quick to shred my happiness. Mostly make me sad too much. Hence I suffering from depression including taking Prozac because of this damned trashing too much. I shouldn't be listening to the schizophrenia's blaring but the voice sometimes bothers me occasionally. Yuck.

Like on Thursday earlier this week. I went out for a walk to my friend Maureen's office intending to eat lunch with her. The schizophrenia was picking onto me after I bought lunch to Maureen's office. Mostly making my paranoia off the charts. I had to sit around on a bench reading an e-book of "Whiskey Beach" by Nora Roberts while I waited for time to go to Maureen's office for lunch. Ugh. The reading was marred by people kept walking by me and bothering the paranoia and my thinking that I'll get interrupted repeatedly by people wanting to talk to me. Ugh.

Also the schizophrenia and paranoia went away after I had lunch with Maureen but started up again after I left her office. I went to the pharmacy to buy some hand cream. It was on the way home is when the voice started up again including the paranoia.

I had cases of where I was freaking out scared from the aggravated paranoia and voice's chanting to want to lie there on the sidewalk sleeping off the noises. It sucked big time. Also I wound up walking fast to home as fast as I could because I was nervous something would happen to my home and I wouldn't be able to get inside. I got home fine enough to shower and went onto the computer to edit muse talk.

I find when I edited muse talk the computer staring helps me get my mind off the inner noises. It was hard on Thursday to do that computer staring muse talk with the paranoia bad off the charts. I was terribly nervous and wanted to get the voice to go away with its annoying chanting. I forced myself to stare at the computer till the paranoia went away. It's when I went to TV watch NBC channel for awhile including Ellen's show is when the voice quit attacking me. Ugh.

Also I did think of reading a book while sitting somewhere like the couch while having the attack of schizophrenia. Problem is I'm between books now so I'm not sure of what I could have read to help me feel better.

I'm still reading "Whiskey Beach" by Nora Roberts via e-reader despite chalking that book as finished online Good Reads. Ugh I rated that book five stars out of five stars.

Oh well.

Also I'm trying to finish some stories I'm working on for my Edenia series self published online Smashwords.

I wound up with a problem involving that website for two books' covers. The website's editors found two books' covers weren't up to their standards. I had to make new covers out of sample pictures my computer had saved on file. The stories "A Hayu's Dream" and "Eric Book 1" wound up with new covers thanks to the Smashwords editors rejecting the originals. Really annoying!

I would have to form new covers for the series involving Eric if they rejected my covers again and made it clear that the series should have twin covers. Something I'm not happy about hence I've gotten new covers for the first book in the Eric's series. This sucks big time when all my hard work for those covers get trashed by the Smashwords' editors finding them not up to their standards.

Ugh. This sucks big time.

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Just tired

Jan. 27th, 2016 | 09:26 am
mood: tiredtired

I'm just tired. I didn't sleep very good last night into this morning. I was mostly daydreaming muse talk in my sleep instead of REM sleep. Ugh.

Also I could have taken a nap now but I already did that when I woke up this morning. I'm just tired and trying to avoid napping till after my friend Eddie arrives to help me clean my residence.

I got to vacuum the rugged floors but I think the vacuum cleaner is full and needs emptying. Ugh that sucks.

The schizophrenia has a been picky onto my eating not proper foods and my picking nail skin habit and some stuff I got that is bad habits. I'm trying to listen to the pickiness involving my nail skin habit by ignoring my hangnails and just stop too much chopping via clippers. Mostly been chopping via clippers too much to cause me to bleed. I've been picked on by the schizophrenia for that habit. I'm trying to quit that habit but I had that for years. Ugh.

I find I pick onto my nails and skin around it out of boredom when I don't have anything to do. This habit sucks big time when I do that. I should really consider fiddling via cell phone or some e-reader or a book instead. Hence I take my cell phone into the bathroom. I'm always nail fiddling while in the bathroom hence I got to take my cell phone with me to fiddle. It sucks.

Also I try to carry a book with me when I'm out walking around. Just so I can read that book instead of nail fiddling via my bad habit when bored or waiting for something. Like waiting in line for pills at the pharmacy. I tend to read a book while I'm waiting. It helps entertain me anyway.

I haven't been interested into reading any books in awhile. I've lost interests into some books I've started and haven't finished them. Ugh.

I asked town library for the book "Born in Fire" by Nora Roberts the first book in the "Born in" trilogy. I think I had those trilogy books back then but I didn't read them. Ugh. I think my lack of reading those books were when Nora Roberts was a new to me author. Oh well I figured I'll catch up on reading more of Nora Roberts' works including her older works like what I haven't read before.

My first Nora Roberts' book was "Montana Sky." I liked that book and found it good but I didn't keep a copy of it. Instead I got a town library's version of that book and read "Montana Sky." I thought that book was pretty good hence I got into Nora Roberts' works as a result.

Some of Nora Roberts' works nowadays aren't that good instead their just not well written. There's some exceptions of some of her newest works are good like "Whiskey Beach." I like that book too much to read it over and over from time to time via e-reader. I got the e-book version of that book hence I got it via e-reader and just enjoying reading it over and over.

Anyway some of Nora Roberts' works weren't too good hence I stopped buying them at the bookstore Barnes and Noble. Instead I've been pestering the town library for copies of her works. Some of her works have turned to be seven day loaners that are easy reads for me to read and finish. Some of her works I ask are month loaners so that's nice.

I'm just tired today. I figured once Eddie cleans the kitchen I'll go and take that nap via lounger. It'll be entertaining taking that nap with cute baby kitten on my lap purring her cute little motorboat off. Aw yawn.

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New Year's Day Blahs Part Two

Jan. 2nd, 2016 | 08:01 pm
mood: sadsad

My cutie wound up settling herself on top of my bed. I did snatch her up for a hug earlier. Now I’m just too sick to bother with the hugged status onto cutie. It sucks big time when I’ve been sick with food poisoning or something involving me friends with the bathroom repeatedly. I was forced to eat food early as 4:45 p.m. with my pill taking at 5 p.m. and not eating anything food wise to go with that pill. It's terrible big time when I’ve been sick all damn day and don’t feel good enough to walk around very much. Ugh.

Also the tinnitus has been noisy all day since I’ve been sick in the bathroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if the noise turns to words later tonight enough to bother me too much. Mostly bother me to stay onto the computer reading muse talk and avoiding bed till the voice quits blaring onto me.

I’ve read and finished eighty three books in 2015. Yay me!

Except that’s like nine or ten books off the record of ninety three books I’ve read in 2014 including most I’ve read in a year. I haven’t been in the mood for any books today. Hence I’m behind my pace online when it comes to books read this year ugh.

I’ve meant to read some books but haven’t been in the mood lately. I feel like I’m fed up with book reading at the moment hence I don’t want to read anything book wise. I’m not even sure of what’s causing me to feel like this depressed mood involving books.

Plus town library emailed me that they have a book ready for me to pickup. Yay except I think that book will be a seven day loaner. I’ll have seven days to read that damn book. Also I’ve downloaded the e-book version of that book I want so I figured I’ll read that instead of the paper version. I’m not even sure of which version I should go with either paper or electronic. It’s just terrible anyway.

“Blood Kiss” Book one in the “Black Dagger Legacy series” by J.R. Ward. It’s a spin off of the original “Black Dagger Brotherhood series” books. “Blood Kiss” is supposedly very good hence I got the e-book version. I did ask the town library for the paper version. I’m not even sure of which version I’ll read. I have to make up my mind. Ugh sucks big time.

I can’t wait to call mom just hoping I’ll get an operator that’ll cooperate instead of playing games with me. Ugh also hoping I can leave my message onto mom’s answering machine if she balks picking up. I suspect that she went to church tonight including confession. It might be why’s she’s not responding to my plea for a text email for phoning despite text emailing her at 5:15 p.m. Ugh. I have to wait forever for word from her involving the phoning issue tonight. Ugh.

I wound up on the phone with mom from 6 p.m. to 6:50 p.m. mom whined of static on the phone. Ugh.
I said “Love you lots momsy.”
Mom wound up saying some lovely dovey message then the operator typed the stop keying symbol. I hung up as a result.

I wound up turning on the heat as a result of freezing cold in here. Inside is freezing cold. Yuck.

Ugh HGTV is still airing reruns of “Love it or List it.” I’m so sick and tired of that TV series. I’m so bored of the HGTV channel at the moment. Ugh also forced to leave the TV on while I’m typing my thoughts down.

I preferred to be chatting with Maureen online Facebook than watching “Love it or List it” show. I’m so sick and tired of that TV series. It’s been non stop “Love it” or “List it” chatter from the schizophrenia whenever I watch that damn TV series. I’m so sick and tired of this shitty TV series. I preferred something else instead. Ugh.

I went online Facebook and sent Janet and Maureen twin messages “I only walked far as the driveway in the parking lot then I walked back inside and stayed home. I don’t have any plans for tomorrow. Maybe I’ll walk further than the driveway if I feel inclined.”
Ugh for Maureen I added this comment “Ttyl later on flip side.”
Ugh again nothing for Janet at all. I wasn’t in the mood to send Janet that comment. I preferred to send that to Maureen instead. Ugh.

I’ve meant to get into my pajamas and get out of my clothes but I’m just not in the mood to bother. Plus I’m freezing cold in my clothes hence I’ve got the heat on low at the moment. Here’s to hoping the damned heat would warm me up I’m hoping. Humph!

Only second day of the year and all I have to show is I’m behind my pace involving books. I haven’t bothered to read anything book wise. I’ve meant to read some book to start that online goal online but I’m just not in the mood. I’m not in the mood for a book lately.

I’ve meant to finish “Jared” Book two in "The Shadow Wranglers series” by Sarah McCarty. But I haven’t been in the mood to finish that book lately. It’s like I’ve given up onto that book as a result hence I don’t want to read Jared very much. It’s terrible when that book is going to get a two star rating online my book’s site.

I think two stars or one star rating actually involving Jared because I couldn’t finish that book. I post one star or two stars ratings onto books when I can’t seem to finish them. Ugh. I don’t like trashing books like that. It sucks.

It’s terrible big time when Jared is going to get a review involving me saying “I couldn’t finish that book so I’m rating Jared low for not catching my interests.”
It’ll mean giving up onto that book when I feel like doing that. I mostly whenever I can’t seem to get myself to read that book again.

Also I’ve kept Jared on hand because I was thinking "I'll finishing that book later."
I’m just not entirely sure of when I’ll be done with that book. It might take me too long to finish that Jared.

I’ve checked out three books that are teens novels I’m trying to get into the mood to read and be done when their due back at the town library. This is terrible when I can’t seem to get myself into the mood to read any of those three books. Ugh.

I'm just sad tonight because TV's boring me with reruns of "Love it or List it" marathon on HGTV. I preferred to view "Property Brothers" to that crummy show. I just don't like "Love it or List it" very much. Just don't. Yuck.

I should have taken the opportunity to read a book but I'm just not in the mood to bother. Ugh can't I finish a nice book sometime before next week is out? I liked to get ahead of my pace online my book's site. I don't know why I can't seem to get into the mood to read any books enough to finish some of them. Ugh oh well.

Just terribly sad tonight.

Maybe tomorrow after a good night's sleep I'll be in the mood for reading a nice book. Perhaps a nice book while I'm out and about town eating at a restaurant or sitting in a gazebo at the school's grounds. This outing depends on my mood when I wake up in the morning. It depends on whether I feel like doing that outing or just going up and down the driveway to get rid of cabin fever.

This is the same for sitting on the porch of my residence and reading a nice book. Just have to hope that tomorrow's weather is nice enough for me to sit outside and do that book reading.

Baby cute kitten will go to town with the porch's glass door open. She'll be sniffing her cute little nose off.
"It's a newspaper for cats" Maureen says regarding cats on window stills sniffing open windows outside. Cute.

I can't wait for "Love it or List it" marathon to end on TV. I'm so sick and tired of that TV series at the moment. After hours of watching that repeat with different episodes I'm fed up and bored of "Love it or List it." Ugh sucks big time when that channel doesn't know much for amusing people than this crummy TV series. Yuck!

Just might as well try to read more of Jared tonight if I feel inclined if TV is still boring me with "Love it or List it" marathons till like 10 p.m. is when they'll show something else.

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New Year's Day Blahs

Jan. 2nd, 2016 | 02:37 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated

New Year's Eve is when I wound up crashing around 10:45 p.m. fed up with TV and typing. Plus I was tired too. Schizophrenia was noisy last night that almost triggered my paranoia to go off so I crashed.

It was terrible big time to crash before the end of the movie “The Lord of the Rings.” Ugh that movie was airing on cable channel TNT but I’ve got the DVDs so I’ll watch those when I can view them. Ugh.

Also I wound up woken up around five o’clock in the morning by Sam pawing me awake New Year's Day ruining my sleep. Damn cat insisted I get up so I got up for the bathroom then crashed back into bed. Sam didn’t paw me this time or bothered to visit me. Dumb cat dumb animal. I swear that cat is nuts. Ugh.

I wound up having a splitting headache when I woke up around 5 a.m. in the morning New Year's Day. I also wound up with dizziness too hence I crashing back into bed to sleep that off. The nap partially worked actually. I woke up with a splitting headache as a result and some dizziness. I forced myself to shower warmly as I could include getting dressed in yesterday’s clothes. I didn’t feel inclined to wear something new.

Mom text emailed me around 8:20 a.m. in the morning “On my way see you soon mom.”
I wound up showering and taking my pills including eating some food half hearted. Ugh.

Today I tried to go out for a walk but I kept on feeling sick involving number two in the bathroom. I tried to eat out for lunch but the number two urges kept on hitting me. This sickness stinks big time when I had to stay home as a result. Ugh.

Also HGTV is airing marathon of “Love it or List it” all afternoon. I hate that TV show because it gets the voice going chanting “Love it” or “List it” over and over. Ugh hate having to hear that inner noises. I’m stuck with this damn shitty TV show as a result of not liking anything on TV besides the HGTV channel. Ugh.

I went out with mom yesterday on New Year's Day.

I went to Barnes and Noble where mom gave me a ten buck gift card to buy two journals that were around six bucks or five bucks and some change. I used my membership discount including the gift card to pay for the journals. I also used some of my own money in a dollar form for that. Nice I guess.

After that was to Dunkin Donuts to eat an early lunch. Mom used a gift card to buy our food. I had a sandwich and chocolate milk. Tasty stuff anyway.

Then we went to Michaels in Avon I think it was Canton not sure. Mom bought some Christmas ornaments she forgot to give me when she dropped me off. She wound up via phone this morning telling me of mailing those ornaments in the mail. Well nice.

After Michaels was Walmart where we looked around. Mom bought me a Christmas themed cup and some stuff for her work to use. Oh nice that she even used a gift card for all her purchases. Nice I guess. Then after that was a walk around some pathway in the forest for awhile. I whined of feeling cold and icy walks so mom cut that short and wound up taking the long way home. Mom left and went home.

I wound up watching the junk on HGTV because my regular programs on NBC were preempted for sports. It sucked big time. I watched HGTV till like 5:30 p.m. is when the channel started to bore me and I was desperate for local news’s broadcasts so I went to NBC. They had some news on so I watched that till like 6:35 p.m. is when mom finally text emailed me.

I kept on bugging mom with pleas for phoning since 5:30 p.m. last night. Mom played phone ignorance games onto me till like during world news around 6:35 p.m. is when she finally text emailed me in response to my plea for a phone call. Ugh.

The operator wasn’t that cooperative.
The operator kept on claiming “Your message is garbled” over and over.
Mostly during me typing lengthy talk to mom. I swear that operator was lazy and saying this saying to avoid repeating what I said lengthy to mom. Really rude! Humph!

Also mom ended phone call so I wound up watching the HGTV channel for awhile till like 10:45 p.m. is when I crashed because I was falling asleep as a result. It sucked to fall asleep even with a cat on my lap. I had to remove Sam and went to bed.

I slept fine with the cutest cat cuddle bumming me via chest area. She had her head onto my chest. Aw cute. Also this morning I put the cutie onto my front for tummy time. She kitty kissed me and tolerated my rubbing hands onto her cute furry back. She got off as a result and I got up and started my day.

I’ve meant to go out to eat for lunch but the sicknesses involving number two in the bathroom kept me home as a result. Plus the number two sicknesses kept me from eating much food. It sucked big time when I could only scarf down four sticks of cheese sticks plus some veggie fruit juice. It sucks big time.

Plus I’m both hot and cold at the same time. I cut the heat as a result of being hot. Also I’m partially sweating via armpits. I must be hot flashing or something involving that while on the computer typing my thoughts. It sucks big time when I’m both hot and cold at the same time. Ugh.

I would rather watch “Property Brothers” marathon on HGTV than “Love it or List it.”

Ugh plus the tinnitus is getting involved with me sick in the bathroom. It sucks big time when I’m stuck at home typing my damn thoughts than having me read a damn book at the moment. It sucks big time.

I’ve got three library books at the town library earlier this week I’ve meant to start reading but haven’t bothered to do that shitty reading. It sucks big time when I check out books from town library but won’t read them once I get the books home. Ugh just not what I had in mind to put up with when it comes to library books. Ugh again.

I did tell mom via phone “I have a goal of reading books I’ve checked out from the library instead of ignoring them.”
Mom sort of praised me for that comment but I’m just not entirely sure if I would be doing that goal. I figured I’ll try that instead of checking out books and ignoring them at home unread. Its terrible big time when I do that to library books. Ugh.

So nothing new with me. Just aggravated by my failure to go out for a walk to a restaurant to eat food. I keep being sick in the bathroom as a result. Plus the tinnitus is noisy in my head hence I don't want to be away from my home or away from a bathroom. Ugh I swear foods I've eaten caused me to feel sick as crap. This is terrible when I get sick from that as a result. Hence I'm stuck home too much time and unable to walk around very much.

I've got a library book I was hoping on starting because that book is a two week loaner. I have two books that are two week loaners from the town library. I keep on hoping on starting either one or reading either one before that two weeks' time is up. It's terrible when I keep ignoring those books like I normally do towards library books I impulsively check out. Ugh.

This really aggravates me to no end. Hence my saying comment to Mom via phone. It's just a new year's resolution I'm hoping to keep and try to keep it. Ugh. I'm so sick of checking out books via impulsively and hardly bothering to read them once I've gotten them home in my residence. It's annoying and aggravating.

Hence I'm aggravated. Ugh.

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Yuck bad night.

Dec. 18th, 2015 | 02:33 pm
mood: tiredtired

Ugh wound up with an attack of schizophrenia that started around 9 p.m. and went for a few hours. Turned out I had cases of bathroom number two that triggered the attack to go off. It sucked big time to put up with the inner noises and scared of it. Ugh.

I kept on hearing “Are you forgetting something?”
I heard that over and over including “Paranoid feeling.”
I tried to sleep the attack off but I kept getting up for the bathroom number two including reading a page in my bible. I was practically scared of the voice and shaking when I read a page in my bible. I wound up just going back to bed as a result.

I wound up hearing “Text your dad.”
I heard that saying involving dad near 11 p.m. at night. I couldn’t do what the voice ordered because of how late it was in the evening and assumed that dad went to bed.

Ugh wound up hearing “This isn’t working.”
Mostly heard that over and over because the voice indicated I should have text emailed dad for a trip to the hospital for the evening but I didn’t bother. I ignored that and kept on sleeping. I think I’ve heard the voice say something else but not entirely sure of that.

Also after that I wound up asleep in bed sleeping fine and not bothered by the voice. I think sometime around midnight the voice quit its attack onto me and I slept fine till like 6:30 a.m. is when I got up and figured I might as well start my day. Ugh. I couldn’t sleep after that wake up. This sucked big time I guess.

Baby cutie didn’t visit me at all while I was sick in bed. Ugh. I guess she knew that my attack wouldn’t be helped by her presence of visiting me.

Anyway I found the cutie sitting on the couch’s blanket and snatched her up for a hug. She cutely licked my face in response. Aw cute then got out of my arms. I did snatch her up for another hug which she cutely gave me kisses in response. Aw cute of her. I love that little munchkin too much. She’s so cute when hugged and kissed. Aw.

Speaking of the baby cutie she’s gone to tummy sit nearby me typing onto the computer. Baby cat looks cute when she tummy sits. Aw tempts me to run my hand onto her cute furry back. What a cute kitten.

Neighbor banged in response to my typing. I swear they spoil that mongrel dog of theirs every damn time that thing barks. This sucks big time when I have to put up with this banging in response to their damn dog barking whenever I’m typing onto the computer. Really rude!

I got up early this morning due to urges to pee. It sucked big time when I wound up with that. Also I couldn’t sleep some more as a result. I had to lie in bed staring at the ceiling for awhile. I gave up the bed sleeping ten or fifteen minutes later as a result.

Ugh mostly went to the computer to amuse myself with typing. Ooh no wonder the neighbor banged in response. Do wish they would grow up and quit spoiling that damned dog of theirs. Yuck.

“Your so cute!” I feel like singing that line to the baby bundle of fur.
I sing lines to the baby munchkin occasionally by how cute she is. She’s really cute when hugged and kissed. She’s really cute when she tummy sits onto the floor. What a cute baby kitten. Aw.

“Baby bundles of fur” I’m hearing from the schizophrenia.
I sometimes hear lines of what I write about the baby cat in my journal echoed by the schizophrenia. Ugh mostly when I eye the kitty like nuts. This sucks big time.

I think dad’s got a vet appointment for the new cat of his. He took in a stray cat with brown fur. I nicknamed her Brownie. Anyway I don’t even know if the name will stick or not. I don’t even know if the cat belongs to someone else or not. Mom when I told her via phone thinks Brownie was tossed outside because someone was moving out of their residence. It sucks when that has to happen. Ugh.

I don’t see the baby cat sitting in my line of sight. I guess she heard something and went to investigate. Cute I guess. She sometimes watches her version of TV in my bedroom in the morning. Other times she’s on the window still above the couch in the sun. How cute!

Anyway HGTV channel was airing episode of “Home Strange Home.” I didn’t feel inclined to watch more of that so I went to “CBS Morning Show” instead. They usually show junky crap stuff I don’t care for that bores me occasionally. CBS sucks but I watch that morning show in hopes of viewing their 9 a.m. show “Live with Kelly and Michael." That 9 a.m. show is entertaining to watch anyway.

Humph supposedly be sunny today but its not sunny outside. Instead the sky’s cloudy at the moment. Ugh. The cloudy sky must be sun rising slowly or something. Not entirely sure of that at the moment. This is terrible big time when I’m not entirely sure of when the sun will shine today. Ugh again.

Local CBS news predicted some rain today and cloudy skies. Ugh big time anyway when the lack of sun isn’t motivating me to go out for a walk or do anything outside.

I’ve meant to go toss out the garbage because I have a pile at the moment. I’ve meant to go take a shower and go take my pills plus eat something decent food wise. Ugh I’ve meant to go text email mom via cell phone my plea for a phone call this morning. She’s working an afternoon shift today. Tomorrow she’s working a morning shift. Sounds entertaining I guess.

I snatched the little munchkin from her seat on the couch. I hugged her galore including cuddling her cuteness. She was tolerant. She kitty kissed me in response then got out of my arms. Poor me poor kitten. Love that little baby cute kitten when she’s tolerant of my huggy moods. She’s cute when she’s tolerant. Aw.

I'm just hoping I don't get another damn attack tonight. It was the pits to suffer from that attack last night. I didn't like it one bit. Also I tried to sleep the attack off. I think the noise and paranoia quit during me sleeping in bed. Ugh.

I also think the attack hit at a bad time when I'm supposedly to be sleeping in bed. Instead the attack scared the hell out of me. It was terrible big time when I wound up trying to sleep with the voice chanting in my head and making my paranoia off the charts.

I felt like I had no privacy and nothing involving that with the chanting. The chanting wound up scaring me too much to the point of trying to read my bible. I think I only read a page of that before I quit for bed. I was practically shaking while reading the page out of fear. I was scared out of my mind involving the attack. Yuck.

Baby cute kitten excuse me for mentioning her never bothered to visit me in bed trying to sleep off the attack last night. Ugh. I guess the cutie's gotten the message that if she visits me it'll be because I can't wake up to attend to her needs. Mostly have to stay asleep in bed sleeping off the attack of schizophrenia.

I could have gone out for a walk today with the sunlight shining weakly but I'm just not in the mood. I already been outside for a walk. I don't feel inclined to go outside again for another walk. I think I'll stay home instead and take a nice nap. I'm very tired at the moment. Just am.

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woke up this morning

Dec. 7th, 2015 | 09:53 am
mood: awakeawake

I'm freezing cold in here. It took me awhile to get up from my nice warm bed. Plus I had cute baby kitten sitting on my front purring her motorboat off. She was tummy sitting on my front licking my face galore. Aw cute.

I'm awake at the moment but cold.

Also I'm just aiming to do something today to amuse myself till I leave for CVS for getting some more stuff. I went yesterday and wasn't able to get some stuff I wanted. Ugh. My grocery cart got too full of the stuff I bought for myself and cute baby kitten. Ugh hence I unable to buy some groceries from there.

Don't have much to add.

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Nov. 29th, 2015 | 03:14 pm
mood: boredbored

I figured I’ll just copy what I typed onto the online journal into my computer journal word to word instead of just highlighting in blue my original wording. I’ve been editing my original wording involving vulgarity language. I try to be clean when it comes to my online journals. Mostly I avoid using vulgarity languages when I type my online journal including editing them out. It’s rude and tacky for me to use that language for my online journal. Ugh.

Its afternoon and HGTV is airing a “Property Brothers” marathon. Seems entertaining and what I want to view than any of the other programs on HGTV. Ugh. Hated the “Love it or List it” marathon on HGTV on Friday. It was terrible big time when I had to put up with that TV series. Yuck.

I could watch a DVD of “Smallville” but I’m not entirely sure if I can withstand that computer staring for hours binge watching that TV series via DVDs. It’s terrible when I prefer to type something down than stare at the computer watching DVDs. Yuck. It’s just terrible.

I wound up in the bathroom processing whatever. The voice proceeded to attack me while I was in there.
Said "Are you forgetting something?"
Mostly over and over to annoy me. Also aggravated the paranoia at the moment too. Ugh.

I tried to read muse talk but I was fed up actually. I didn't care to read muse talk at all. It's terrible when I'm stuck onto the computer for awhile just to get rid of the paranoia and the voice's chanting. I think the voice's chanting stopped but the paranoia is kinda aggravated. It sucks big time.

Also I've been really worried about having a bad attack of schizophrenia from my all over the time pills I take in the morning. Just hoping I don't wound up with that at all. I don't need that to happen. Just don't anyway.

I need to see about staying onto the computer for awhile till I shake this paranoia attack off. Mostly till like 6 p.m. is when I aim to ring Momsy up via phone. I aim to talk to mom via phone on how I'm doing and stuff involving my Aunt's dinner yesterday night. I missed a phone call with mom last night because I was at the dinner at my Aunt's house. Ugh. I had to text email mom about being at Aunt's house for dinner. Ugh. She was rather understanding.

Goody she text in response to my text email "Enjoy love you mom"
Nice except she still can't do periods. It sucks big time when I have to read her sentences without periods and guess her messages. Ugh.

Also it's terrible big time when she's phobic about technology involving cell phones, internet, computers and social media. She's terribly phobic actually. I don't know why's she's like that. Ugh. Mom must have grown up without technology hence her phobic fears. Ugh I guess she's used to amusing herself without technology as a result.

She's a big reader when it comes to reading books. She likes to read books galore. It's rather entertaining when she's a big reader of books. Most of the books she's read involving true crime or law issues including mysteries.

Ugh that subject of what Mom reads isn't my taste when it comes to reading books. I pretty much preferred something else than that. I'm more a romance reader and a reader of fiction including a reader of science fiction fantasy too. I preferred to read fiction to non fiction. Just do.

There's some exceptions of reading non fiction like "Learning to Fly the Autobiography" by Victoria Beckham. I'm always reading that book that I found it entertaining anyway. I love to read Victoria's book over and over. I never get tired of that reading over and over. I have multiple copies of that book on hand. I think I have two copies. Not sure.


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Just tired.

Nov. 29th, 2015 | 11:58 am
mood: aggravatedaggravated

Cutie avoided cuddle bumming me all night into this morning on Wednesday. Damn cat dumb animal dumb cat. I swear that cat is so stupid. Ugh.

Also I left the heat on Wednesday night but around 6 a.m. woken up by a hot flash and went and turned the heat off. I wound up sleeping fine till like 8:30 a.m. is when I woke up and got up after a great debate. Ugh.

I wound up attacked that night with the voice enough to get my paranoia off the charts. I was processing bathroom at the time. The voice always attacks me before I go process the bathroom. It sucks big time. Anyway I process enough to get the voice chanting and my paranoia off the charts. Ugh.

I wound up editing “Tales of Jinks Montreal” via disk out of trying to get the voice to go away and same for my paranoia. The editing helped me avoid the TV for awhile. I wound up managing to shake the attack off as a result but the tinnitus was still loud that night.

Also I wound up watching TV at 9 p.m. with Sam my cutie sleeping on my lap. Sam slept onto my lap and fell into a deep sleep as a result. Cutie wound up shaking from a dream while on my lap. Poor kitty wound up sleeping and shaking too much that I had to ignore her and concentrate onto the TV.

I wound up in a chat with Maureen Wednesday night. Mostly I chatted stuff with her involving Thanksgiving Day stuff. Nice. Anyway I wound up discussing Sam sleeping on my lap while Maureen wound up talking about her kitty too. Cute talk anyway.

“Are you forgetting something?” I’m hearing from the schizophrenia.
It sucked big time when Mom came over letting herself inside. Ugh. She brought racks for me to use. Nice of her.

Anyway I wound up sweating bullets as a result of hot flashing and stressing myself out waiting forever for Mom’s arrival. It’s good when Mom arrived around 4:30 p.m. on time. It’s a first for everything that she’s gotten here on time. Yay!

Anyway on the drive to the Log House the voice attacked me as a result. I wasn’t happy when I was at the Log House Restaurant eating my food. I was bothered by the voice as a result. Cheryl noticed I was miserable but I used the excuse of being cold instead of right away admitting that. It sucked big time to lie to her.

I keep imagining that I’ll admit my mental problems to Cheryl. But she’ll react negatively as in putting me into a mental asylum and taking away my kitty. It stinks when I keep getting that imaginary scenario. Ugh.

Also I wound up waiting till I got home to admit to mom of my problem of suffering. She proceeded to use my bathroom for number two while I was suffering from that. It bothered me big time when I wound up with diarrhea as a result. Ugh. Also mom freed the bathroom for me to use it. She finally left for home. Yay! I couldn’t wait for her to leave because of the voice’s attack.

I wound up reading muse talk as a result but it didn’t do anything for the shutting up for the voice. I was still hearing the inner noises but I’m trying to type my thoughts down at the moment. Ugh.

Also I wanted to watch “Property Brothers” tonight but I doubt I would with their episodes airing reruns tonight. I wound up suffering from a voice’s attack. I can't barely withstand the damn TV with the inner noises.

It’s terrible big time when I’m sick involving number two. Hence my inner noises at the moment. Ugh. I feel like I’m not done with the bathroom number two. I feel like I still have to go to the bathroom for number two. Ugh had diarrhea earlier but I’m not entirely sure of what brought that on.

Also cute baby kitten was friendly when I got home typing onto the computer. Cutie rubbed herself against my legs. Cutie missed me galore. She was friendly hanging around mom when mom was in my apartment. She even was meowing at me and mom multiple times while both of us were watching Ellen then the NBC news. Ugh just don’t understand that kitty.

From time to time I don’t get it Sam’s behavior occasionally I do get it but occasionally I don’t. Poor kitty can’t verbalize human words or sign language hence she’s got to use body language to demand stuff from me. It’s like she demanding food and water for her bowls with friendly behavior onto me. Aw cute.

“It sucks big time. It sucked big time.”
I noticed I used that wording over and over including the word “Sucks.”
Hence I currently am editing my journals to avoid having wordings. Ugh. Don’t like to be repetitive when it comes to some of my workings. Yuck.

I’m a writer I should use some other wording than that phase or word.
It’s the same for the word “Ugh.”
I use that word over and over at the end of my paragraphs. I don’t know why I bother ending my paragraphs with that word. I got to consult a damn dictionary more often and seeing what I can find to express myself wording wise other than my usual repetitive wordings.

Thursday's Thanksgiving a holiday involving stuffing one’s face silly with food and being together with family.

Cute baby kitten wound up sitting onto my front that morning. She was cutely snatched up for a nice hug fest. Well more of a cuddle actually. Cutie was tolerant of that hugged status. She kitty kissed me in response. Aw cute. Also I was typing onto the computer at the time and snatched her cuteness up. She was cutely accepting the hug. Aw.

Humph considered wearing a sweatshirt but the schizophrenia picked onto me for that.
“Wear a nice shirt” the schizophrenia said over and over.
Ugh I wound up forced to agree as a result. It’s terrible when the day's a holiday and I have to dress up nice. Yuck.
“Wear your hair up” as ordered by the schizophrenia.
I haven’t dried my hair from the shower so I put it up. Ugh just hoping my hair up is fine despite the wetness of the showered status.

I have no idea what book I should read while I’m out with dad via his car. Ugh.

I figured maybe that e-book “Black Hills” by Nora Roberts will do. I started that book Wednesday night during the ride home from the Log House restaurant with mom driving me. The reading makes it years since I’ve read “Black Hills.” I haven’t read that book in a long time. I do have a signed edition of that book in my bookcase. I don’t know how many editions I have but I do have an e-book version of it.

I have three library books on hand for me to read. One is in progress of being read called “Prince of Dreams” by Lisa Kleypas. The second book is just a library book I don’t intend to read. I aim to dump the book back onto the library when possible. The third book is “Prince Lestat” by Anne Rice. I intend to read that.

Librarian said of “Prince Lestat” book by Anne Rice “It’s really good.”
I just hope she’s right on how good that book is. I liked to be able to read that book when possibly have time.

Humph wound up sick in the bathroom with heavy number two. It sucked when this got the tinnitus noisy as heck. The tinnitus sucks when its noisy involving me sick in the bathroom. I’m just hoping this noise doesn’t turn to words. I don’t really need this shitty attack at the moment. Ugh.

Also I stayed up late close to midnight and wound up sleeping till like 9:20 a.m. in the morning. The morning ritual took me till like 10 a.m. for me to eat my food and take my pills. It’s terrible when I can’t stick to a schedule involving my pills for morning taking. Ugh. I’ve been all over the place with taking my pills in the morning. It sucks.

I’ve been faithfully taking my pill for dinner time with my food at 5 p.m. it’s rather nice when I’m able to take that pill at night. I don’t mind when I get to take that pill at night. It’s good I guess.

I got to see what I can do to amuse myself for awhile while waiting for 11:30 a.m. to arrive. The time is when dad is coming to pick me up for a drive to Anne’s house to meet her new pet a dog. Interesting that she’s got a dog she used to have a cat but now she doesn’t. Ugh. Also I’m going to Anne’s Mother’s house for Thanksgiving.

I’m just wondering what my day will turn out to be like while I’m out and about with dad and whoever. Ugh here’s to hoping I don’t wound up with an attack of schizophrenia while I’m out and about with dad and whoever. I just don’t need that at all. It sucks.

Ugh Friday I wound up in the bathroom with number two shit. It sucked big time when that wound up getting the voice involved. The paranoia isn’t there yet. It sucks.

Anyway baby cute kitten wound up snatched up for a nice hug. I carried her cuteness to the bathroom but she got out of my arms and went to give herself a bath. Mostly while I was processing number two out of me. She sucks big time.

Plus Friday's supposedly be warm but its freezing cold in here. Ugh. Hate it when the temperature is cold in here. Yuck.

NBC must be airing something special on TV on their channel this afternoon. Hence they preempted “Days of our lives” the soap opera at noon. This is terrible big time when that soap has been preempted lately. Ugh. Not happy about that at all. It’s terrible as hell when that soap gets preempted. Yuck.

Ugh wound up doing laundry. I managed to wash my dog smelled clothes including dried them via dryer. I even remembered to use the dryer’s button this time. Instead of just putting quarters into the dryer and forgetting to press the button I remembered to do it this time. Yay me!

I had for dinner was two pieces of cheese and two nutria grain bars of raspberry. I lost my appetite when the voice chanted its familiar question. Plus I had to go to the bathroom number two. It sucked big time when that had to happen. Ugh also lost my appetite for food further from the number two in the bathroom. It always kills my appetite as a result.

I wound up text emailed mom from my cell phone to her landline and her cell phone. I’m just waiting for her to reply to my text email plea for a phone call tonight. Ugh.

Also I have to see if she’ll pick up at six o’clock for our daily phone call. I’m just hoping the phone call won’t be as lengthy as two hours. Ugh could do with just an hour. It sucks big time when Mom is always hogging me via phone for a lengthy chat. It sucks big time.

“Black Friday” the biggest shopping day of the year for retail stores including people buying stuff for deep discounts. It leaves me at home avoiding the stores because of how crowded they’ll be. It's terrible big time when the stores till Christmas are going to be crowded with shoppers and hardly any parking spaces at all. Ugh.

Saturday or Caturday Cat's day I begged dad to take me out shopping for errands.
He agreed and gave me “12 noon.”
Dad arrived late annoying me too much. Ugh.

I went to town library to drop off a library book I didn’t want to read or consider reading. I considered checking out some more books but wasn’t in the mood to bother. I wasn’t in the mood. Oh well big time.

Also went to CVS where I got my prescription refill of Geodon pills followed by buying toothpaste and a spiral bound notebook. Ugh. Cost me nearly every single piece of money I had on hand.

Anyway I went grocery shopping at Stop and Shop where I bought some food including dishwashing soap. I bought two bottles of that stuff. I figured it shouldn’t be a problem for me to buy that stuff for my dishes and washing my water bottle too. It’ll be fun I guess getting dishes and water bottles cleaned up. Ugh.

Dad wound up onto his cell phone while I was in the car with him. I couldn’t read more of Victoria Beckham’s book because of paying attention to Dad’s driving for him while he was on the cell phone. Ugh again.

Dad asked “You want to go to Aunt Sue’s for dinner?”
I think I said “Yes but what time?”
He replied I think “I’ll text you the time.”

Ugh meant I’ll have to pay attention to my damn cell phone all damn afternoon till Dad bothers to text email his time for driving me to Aunt Sue’s house. It’s terrible having to do that paying attention to the damn cell phone. Yuck. Hate that like nuts.

I snatched the cute baby kitten up for a nice hug. She was cutely tolerant of that hugged status. Aw cute. She kitty kissed me in response to my kisses. Aw speaking of the baby kitten she cutely posed while sitting next to the computer desk then walked off. Aw so cute.

I wound up gulping tons of water once I got home. It’s terrible when that’s going to cause me to go to the bathroom later. Ugh.

Also I wound up sick in the bathroom with number two. I swear I aggravated the schizophrenia because I’m feeling a little anxious with that noise in my head. It sucks big time. Plus my stomach is upset again. I’m not sure if I’m done with the bathroom number two or not. I do hope I get rid of this crap involving number two to cut the noises in my head.

Ugh plus waiting for dad’s to text email me a time is making me anxious at the moment. The anxiety makes my schizophrenia or tinnitus sound loudly as a result. It’s terrible when I have to wait forever for dad’s text email for a ride to Aunt Sue’s house for dinner. Ugh.

Schizophrenia is claiming four o’clock is when dad is going to text email me a drive to Aunt Sue’s house. I hope the schizophrenia is correct on that shit. I don’t need this noise in my head to interfere with me waiting forever for dad’s text email to go to Aunt Sue’s house for dinner. Ugh. It sucks.

“Are you forgetting something?” I’m hearing from the schizophrenia.
I mean really annoying when I have to hear from the schizophrenia involving me waiting forever for dad’s text email to go to Aunt Sue’s house. It sucks and doesn’t do anything for my anxiety. Ugh.

I wound up sick with number two earlier. I tried to go to the bathroom number two when the schizophrenia started chanting but couldn’t get anything out. This sucks big time when I have cramps to go to the bathroom and can barely get anything out. It sucks when I have the schizophrenia chanting as usual. Ugh. Really annoying!

Humph! I’ve meant to go text email mom via cell phone of being out with dad tonight. I’ve meant to do that text emailing but I’m not sure of when I should bother with that text emailing. It’s terrible when I’m not even sure of that. Ugh again.

HGTV is marathoning “Flip or Flop” on their channel. I preferred to watch that than anything else on the TV. I don’t want to get interrupted by Dad text emailing me of a time of pickup for a drive to Anne’s house and then Aunt Sue’s house for a dinner. Ugh.

Also I don’t want to watch a damn movie. I tried a movie last night. Mostly I watched “The Princess Bride” movie. It was rather entertaining but I had the schizophrenia aggravated last night once the movie was over with. It sucked when I couldn’t wait for that movie to be over with. The movie ended to my relief as a result then after that I wound up watching what’s left of HGTV’s marathon of “Love it or List it” shit show.

I tried to read my e-reader last night after the movie but the schizophrenia got further annoyed annoying me. I figured then I’ve read that damned e-reader too much that day as a result hence the noises in my head. It sucked further to put up with that. Ugh.

I wound up paying attention to the TV mostly HGTV channel as a result till like ten o’clock is when I crashed into bed and slept till like almost nine o’clock in the morning. I think I was terribly tired hence my noisy head last night. It’s terrible when the head got noisy as a result of me feeling tired and anxious. Ugh.

Sunday I stayed up till like 1 a.m. in the morning. I slept till like 6 a.m. woken up by bathroom urges to pee. Ugh I slept again till like 9:45 a.m. woken up by noises in my head.

Baby cute kitten managed to get closet open. I didn’t shut the closet’s door till I got up this morning. Ugh

Cutie was cuddling me this morning. Aw cute. She even licked my face galore when tummy sitting on my front too. Cute baby kitten was cute enough to kitty kiss me galore this morning. Aw cute like I said also cute enough to be petted galore. Aw.

I keep taking my morning pills all over the place in the morning. It’s terrible big time when the time’s like 10:30 a.m. and I’m taking my pills at that time. Ugh. Plus I have to put up with the body complaining of my mixed schedule involving my pills. It’s not good to get that complaint as a result.

I do hope I don’t get an attack of schizophrenia from that fact of mixed times for my pill taking in the mornings. It’s terrible big time when I get those attacks as a result. Yuck.

Also I’m tired this morning. I woke up feeling sort of fed up with sleeping as a result. Ugh. Also I had to go to the bathroom number two so I went as simple as that. I wound up showering then after that took my pills once I was dressed. Goody.

I haven’t gotten the chance to hug miss fur coat yet. I aim to hug the baby kitten when I get the chance to do it.

Cute baby kitten got onto my lap last night. She tummy sat and fell asleep. I think near one o’clock in the morning I snatched her up for a nice hug and cuddles. She was cutely tolerant of that cuddle fest I threw her in. Cutie was cute being hugged and kissed. Aw what a cute kitten.

I wound up picked up by dad around four o’clock to a drive to Anne’s house. Anne ignored her cell phone and ignored dad’s plea for phoning. She’s terrible anyway. After that Dad drove to Aunt Sue’s house without Anne and her mangy dog as a result. Goody I didn’t like that mangy mongrel at all. Yuck.

Anyway went to Aunt Sue’s house. The dog of Aunt Sue’s was loud. I could hear him bark occasionally. Ugh.
I whined to Dad “He’s loud.”
Dad wound up telling me something involving a hearing test for next week. Ugh. He keeps on trying to get me to hear via items including cochlear implants. Yuck.

After that Aunt Sue cooked dinner which was dinner which I only had pasta and nothing else. I wasn’t hungry to eat much food as a result.

I wound up sick in the bathroom with number two as a result. It aggravated the schizophrenia to start chanting and bothering me. I forced myself to read “Learning to Fly the Autobiography” by Victoria Beckham. I’m always reading that book over and over. It’s interesting that I favor that book enough to read it over and over. Oh well.

Anyway the paranoia got too much for me so I wound up reading Victoria’s book as a result. I read just something to avoid hearing the noise in my head. I think it didn’t work because I was scared out of my mind. Plus the damned dog hung around me and barked. I think the damned dog sensed my problem and was concerned. It sucked.

Also dad to my relief managed to get us both to leave to the car. I tried to read Victoria’s book via car light but dad squashed that. He insisted I use a pen light instead. I guess he needed to see via car of where he was going when driving. Ugh.

I read the book via pen light then got fed up with the inner noises and the book not doing anything for me. I wound up reading my e-reader reading “Black Hills.” I read a great deal of that book ignoring where Dad was driving me. Ugh. I glanced a few times actually. I read a great deal of “Black Hills” as a result. It was nice reading that e-book.

I wound up with the paranoia off the charts and scaring me despite the reading of the e-book. Ugh. I couldn’t wait till I got home as a result. Once I was home I went number two in the bathroom. Sam hung around me in concern but I think she wanted to use the Dumperium but not with me in the bathroom. She sucks big time.

Anyway I wound up onto the computer editing this story “Nikolai’s Tale” as labeled on file. I didn’t titled that story yet. I edited that story galore by adding commas. I have been lazy when it comes to adding commas. The lack of commas is terrible hence I adding them to what I already edited and typed. I added the commas till I got to the break in the story where I left off.

I managed to shake off the attack of schizophrenia as a result. Yay me! After that I wound up around midnight watching the Scott brothers’ new show about them working makeovers onto ranches on farms. Interesting show anyway but after that Sam got onto my lap and fell asleep like I said. Ugh.

I crashed around 1 a.m. in the morning as a result. I was just trying to avoid heartburn from the pasta and milk I drank at Aunt Sue’s house. Ugh. I didn’t want wine or beer. Yuck. Her sons the three of them settled for beer as a result. I’m not entirely sure of how their driving themselves home to where their going. I think their staying overnight.

Plus I did ask dad a question “Mike’s not driving is he? He’s drinking beer.”
Dad replied “Mike rode a bicycle.”
I wrote my question down as a result which dad wrote his answer. Nice.

Also I brought that Disney Frozen notebook I used for writing conversations with people with me to Aunt Sue’s house. Dad asked me for writing so I got it including my book on Victoria Beckham. After dinner I sat at the head of the table and read Victoria’s book ignoring everything around me. Mostly I was trying to concentrate out of an attack of schizophrenia as a result.

It sucked to read a book while freaking out scared out of my mind with paranoia aggravated. Plus I being in Aunt Sue’s bathroom didn’t do anything for me. The bathroom freaked me out as a result. I didn’t like being in the bathroom. Yuck.

Also I think the damn dog wound up begging for food from us Humans when we were eating. Only Alexander gave him food while the rest of us ignored that damn dog. I did give that dog some food from the finger food table. But that was it. Mostly I gave that dog food on Aunt Sue’s permission. Ugh.

Dad interrupted my reading of Victoria’s book a few times.
First time to whine about the dog “He’s loud” he said.
The damn mongrel was barking his head off and really loud. Yuck. I hate dogs like nuts. I preferred my cutie cat instead to a damn dog. Yuck again. I don’t care for a damn dog anyway.


Damn dogs are too much work for me to take care of or tolerate. I don’t care to take care of a damn dog anyway. Yuck damn the dog.

I prefer to take care of a furball like my kitty. I love to pet and hold the baby cute kitten galore. She’s cute when petted and hugged plus cute when she purrs her cute little motorboat off. I liked to feel her purring vibrations via her throat. She’s cute when she licks me and cute when she sits on top of my front including cuddling me. What a cute kitten! Aw.

I had some weird dream that seemed science fiction to me. I’m not entirely sure of what’s the point of that weird dream. It seemed like a story idea to me but I’m not entirely sure of how to type that story down. It sucks when I prefer my thoughts to muse talk typing. Ugh sucks.

I’m just impatient for HGTV channel to air something else than “Flea Market Flip.” I don’t care for that TV show. I hate their marathons in the morning including in the afternoons boring me to tears actually. It’s terrible when I get bored out of my mind. Ugh hence I stuck typing whatever thought I could think of as a result while onto the computer. Ugh again.

I text emailed Maureen when she was online Facebook. She ignored me. She sucks big time.
I said “TTYL since Ur on cellular.”

Ugh just in a talkative mood but no one’s available. It’s terrible when I’m not even sure of what to say to Janet. She replied to my text email I sent her. I don’t know what to say to her very much. I try to say subjects other than her life, her work and her family just something to get her mind off her stresses and problems. Ugh.

Ugh don't have much to add for today or my week. Oh well.

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Nov. 24th, 2015 | 08:58 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated

Cute baby kitten is so cute when cuddled into a nice hug fest. She’s so cute when she cuddle bums me in the morning. I like to wake up to the cutest cat ever cuddling me. She’s cute. Baby bundles of fur wound up sitting onto my front this morning onto her butt and just sat. Aw cute. I petted her cuteness galore for awhile. She was tolerant and friendly with that but mostly sat onto her butt onto my front. Aw what a cute kitten.

I wound up finding Eddie arrived into here to clean the bathroom. I managed to clean as much of the spilled kitty litter but Eddie didn’t find it a good job. Ugh. Also he was unbelieving when I said I vacuumed. Ugh forced myself to vacuum as a result after emptying out the canister in the dumpster.

Oh I’ve meant to toss out some expired food but I haven’t bothered yet. It sucks.

Also TV bored me with the presidential press conference with France’s President. I skipped that and went to E’s “Botched.” I saw what’s left of that including CBS’s local news. I skipped their soaps. I wound up watching more of “Botched” till like 1:50 p.m. is when I went to NBC. “Botched” was boring me actually.

I saw what was left of a tabloid TV show then watched more of NBC’s show Meredith’s talk show.

Anyway during “Botched” I wound up reading an e-book “The Black Knight” by Connie Mason. I thought the book was pretty sexy and too sexy for my taste. I didn’t agree with the sexual crap in it. I think the story should be focused onto the medieval tale than on sex this and sex that involving a couple. It sucks. Hence I rated this story four stars online Shelfari. I didn’t rate it anymore than that.

Also I finished “The Black Knight” e-book. Yay! The finishing of “The Black Knight” made it my seventy sixth books finished this year. Ooh goody.

At least I’ll have beaten my goal of seventy five books. I considered going for books number eighty but I’m not entirely sure of that. Plus last year I finished ninety three books. I’m no where near that goal to finish that amount of books before the year is over with. I’m hoping to try to reach eighty books and see how it goes.

I think Meredith’s show is getting joked involving matchmaking. It sucks big time when her show doesn’t help gays/lesbians find love. It’s the same for the lunatic’s three o’clock show. He won’t do anything for gays/lesbians to find love or get makeovers for love. Its terrible big time when I hate that guy’s show as a result. Yuck.

Ugh. I snatched the cutest cat ever for a hug fest. She was cutely tolerant of that hugged status. Aw kitty kissed me in response. I gave her cuteness kisses in response to that. She’s such a cute kitten when kissed and hugged. Love to hug and kiss the baby cutie. Aw Cute.

My appetite for food today was lousy. I woke up near 9 a.m. and took a shower. Then after that Mom text emailed me to phone her. I wasn’t able to eat anything for breakfast. Mom did ask me via phone what I’ve eaten.
I didn’t want to admit I didn’t eat yet to her via phone so I said “Reese’s Cup candy.” Ugh. Mom was pretty critical of my eating chocolate for breakfast. It sucked.

After the phone call which ended around 10 a.m. I wound up finally eating some food with my pills. It bugs me big time when my morning times involving my pills are all over the place. Not at eight o’clock sharp as hoped. It’s terrible big time anyway.

Anyway I wound up waiting for Eddie to leave to eat some food for lunch. I didn’t have much for lunch. Just some ice cream with some toppings including waiting for Eddie’s further arrival to get the picture of Grandparents hung. Ugh. Then after that I ate three sticks of cheese. I hate it when my appetite for regular food wasn’t there at all.

Also I’ve been sick in the bathroom with multiple number twos. It stinks when the sickness is getting the tinnitus involved to be noisy at the moment. Yuck.

Hence I avoiding watching what’s left on HGTV channel and went to the lunatic’s TV show. I gave up onto watching “House Hunters Renovation” on HGTV channel. I don’t care for that TV show anyway.

Also I’m trying to find an excuse to focus onto the TV but I prefer to type onto the computer than doing much TV watching. It stinks when I prefer TV to typing stuff down.

“Are you forgetting something?” blared the schizophrenia.
This question hit when I was in the bathroom processing number two. The voice annoys me big time when I’m processing that via my body. Yuck.

Also I’m expecting to phone mom at 6 p.m. tonight for a daily phone call. Mom did tell me via phone she might get extra overtime hours today. Mostly she claims that because of the Thanksgiving holiday on Thursday that’s bound to cause a rush of people buying food to celebrate the holiday on Thursday.

It’s terrible big time when I have to avoid grocery shopping this week because of that holiday rush in stores. It sucks further when I have to avoid shopping in retail stores because of the crowds and holiday shoppers rushing to buy stuff via deals of discounts including gifts for people too.


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