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Reading books

May. 28th, 2016 | 08:40 pm
mood: amusedamused

I spent today at home with the air conditioner running since eleven o’clock in the morning.


I only went out to get my mail that was at my door involving some books I ordered. I ordered four books that came today. I did order seven books the previous week which arrived. Four of those books were a set. I sort of out of needing something to do ordered more books off internet out of boredom.

I was bored actually.

One of the four came in today was an ex-library book a reject I figured I’ll use for carrying around and wrecking up. It's the reprint of "Dark Lover" by J. R. Ward. I liked that book to order another copy even if it was an ex-library book. Oh well.

There was another book that was hardcover but didn’t have a dust jacket cover. Ugh wasn’t happy about that at all. I ordered "Lover Mine" book eight in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series that which "Dark Lover" was a part of.

"Dark Lover" is book one of that Black Dagger Brotherhood series.

Also the other two books I ordered came out perfectly fine.

One was “Chronicles of Narnia” involving the book Barnes and Noble screwed up which I lost money from. They sent me a comic making fun of Ruth Badder Ginsberg. Ugh I had to spend some money mailing that book in the post office on Thursday to who originally ordered that book. Yuck Plus the original order was to North Carolina according to the sheet. It was terrible big time when I'm sure I won't get that book from Barnes and Noble.

Also I'm sure that Barnes and Noble will goof off my future book orders. Ugh hence I ordering books off eBay instead of Barnes and Noble. I even ordered off discount bookstores' sites on eBay. I thought it'll help save money doing that. Ugh.

I wound up ordering "Chronicles of Narnia" book off a store in eBay as a result. Book came out pretty well in good condition so I’ll read that when I get the chance.

Fourth book was something involving the “Black Dagger Brotherhood series.” It’s some paperback companion to the series including a short story in that book. I already have the e-book version of that book but I thought I would order a paperback version and see how it goes reading that book.

Ugh. I ordered two more books of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. One is called "The King" I favored enough to get a copy of it. I think the author should have ended her series with that book but she didn't bother. I like "The King" because it's focused onto my favorite character of the series.

I also ordered "The Beast." I liked the library's version enough to order a copy of that book off eBay. I do hope I get the dust jacket included with that book. I didn't get the dust jacket included with "Lover Mine." That omission sucked big time because the cover was why I ordered that book. Ugh.

I set the four books aside including an autobiography by Dominique Moceanu. I figured I’ll get around to reading “Off Balance” by Moceanu when I get the chance. That book was ordered off eBay which was a rejected library book I figured I’ll use for wrecking up and noting notes into it. Ugh.

I also set aside “Marked” by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast the first book in “House of Night series.” I’ve ordered about twelve books of the authors’ works off eBay I’ve been meaning to get around to reading. I just have to see when I’ll get around to doing that reading. Ugh again.

Unlike today I didn’t bother to read anything book wise. I tried to get into the mood to read mostly reading muse talk including my own thoughts. I did try a book but I couldn’t make myself read those books I’m in progress of reading. This sucks big time anyway.

I’m stuck on reading Queen Noor’s memoir “Leap of Faith.” I’m slowly reading the diary of a Saint named Maria Faustina Kowalska. I’m also reading a reprint version of “Dark Lover” by J.R. Ward.

I’m hoping to keep Queen Noor’s book one of those days once I’m done reading it. Mostly stuff that book into my bookcase and keep the book on hand. I’m like halfway through that memoir at the moment. I could have read more of that book today but I was fed up actually so I didn’t bother. Its terrible when I’m not in the mood for book reading. Ugh.

I’m slowly reading Saint Maria’s diary. The contents is a really good book for people who are religious but I’m not that motivated to read that book a great deal amount of it in one sitting. I’m more motivated to read Saint Maria’s book a few pages at a time instead.

This is terrible big time when I’m not too motivated to read a book too much in one sitting. Ugh big time.

Also I like reading “Dark Lover.” I like the bonus material in that book so far. I’m pretty sure “Dark Lover” got new material in the book that’s bound to make it more romance. I think the original “Dark Lover” wasn’t seen very romance at all hence the author coming out with a newer version. I sort of like the newer version from what I’m reading so far. It’s a rather entertaining book from what I’m reading.

That's what's I'm finding is amusing.

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Story I'm working on....

May. 24th, 2016 | 07:41 pm
mood: creativecreative

The Guardian of Life and Death wound up faced with the soul of Jinks Montreal as he spoke “Begin Program.”
The Guardian wound up eyed the mental gated arch a travelers’ gate to see if flash an image of a male wearing furry skin clothing from head to foot.
He heard "You had to show this poor soul didn't you?"
Guardian heard nothing in response to the female’s question instead kept on watching
Guardian spoke as the traveler’s gate ended images “I am the Guardian of Life and Death. I will judge you on my scales of your life.”
The soul standing in front of the Guardian wound up having their soul taken out and put onto the scales of the Guardian of Life and Death. The scales tipped back and forth till it ended onto one side heavy sided indicated. There was a feminine shriek of joy heard by the soul and the Guardian.
The soul wound up back into the body appearing to be a male this time as the Guardian spoke “Life is chosen for you. Be gone out of Egyptia to where you’re to go.”
The Guardian wound up putting clawed hands in front of his mouth into a blow movement and the soul found themselves flying out of Egyptia as the place of the dead’s judgment was called. The soul traveled till they reached a body of a young male aged in twenties and entered him. The male woke up with a start opening Human blue eyes lying on a one person bed in a room with tan brown walls. He could see the room was narrow and thin with one full arm length from the bed’s longest sides. He got up from the bed and stood up shaking his head then rubbed a hand on his head through his black wavy hair that fell just below his shoulders. He went to the bed to sit and frowned as a memory of himself wearing odd clothing that made him think it was strange on his form flashed in his mind. The clothes he saw was foreign showing slipper shoes on his feet, tights, a top that was long sleeve and some vest dress covered his form. He grimaced as he saw some sneering look was on his face while seated on an animal. He figured out from memory was a horse with others behind him wearing identical clothes some having faces bared. He saw that they were all males like him some with facial hair and seated on horses while some were standing. The young male grimaced of the memory from him self’s facial expression that bothered him. He recalled himself dismounted along with ten other men and started walking on a grass fields his facial appearance changing from sneering to glare. The young male frowned thinking of the dream unsure of whom he was fully in his mind. He recalled to himself dreaming repeatedly for a few nights of a male wearing some outfit of blue leggings white slipper shoes, with a picture of a red bird onto a white tunic while wearing a crown of yellow gold with red rubies onto it.
The male spoke as always the same comment “You’ll remember who you are. You will acknowledge me.”
The young male recalled given the name of Jinks Montreal by the mysterious voice in his mind. The voice’s owner mysteriously refused to explain why they had him given his name. Jinks found himself out of his body via transportation to a house inside kept inside. He found himself paced inside the house looking out the window. The light was gone and the stars were shining with a maelstrom of yellowy like sky. He grumbled remembering the argument with Tank a Meritanian. He was trapped into the Hall of One Thousand Voices’ tube since the High Council captured him and cloned multiple times. Jinks recalled the argument with Tank involved himself freed from containment and freed to live his life on planet Aire as the world was called instead of the Shadan name.
Tank had balked freeing him instead told him in response “Stop asking me that request. I’m so sick of hearing that silly request from you. So stop asking me.”
Jinks had obeyed in response and quit asking Tank instead had started to plead to Merra “Free me now, Merra!”
Merra in response echoed Tank’s words in a feminine voice tone followed by snickering like laughter in response as she and Tank told jokes. He felt disgust in response gave up that noise and kept on listening to the other voices in the Hall of One Thousand Voices.
Jinks figuring to he “I’m not going to get freed from this prison. Ugh.”
He heard a voice speaking in response to his comment “This prison is for people contained for their safety while planet Aire undergoes a problem at the moment.”
Jinks grunted in response to the familiar voice sounding feminine and familiar to him but sounded Meritanian instead of Merra’s voice. He figured the feminine voice belonged to Erra or Terra but wasn’t sure which Meritanian spoke that wording. Jinks felt disgust take hold as he remained into the Hall of One Thousand Voices to his disgust.
He heard yipping of a dog barking including hearing “Shut up that damned mongrel now!”
Jinks spoke in response “Language isn’t appropriate!”
He heard in response “Oh go to sleep, daddy!”
Jinks frowned hearing the word daddy spoken aimed at him as he heard the voice sounded feminine and familiar to him like he knew her someplace. Jinks frowned but didn’t comment a response as he found himself passing out unconscious.

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Depressed on weekends

May. 21st, 2016 | 03:48 pm
mood: depresseddepressed

I wound up sick with number two triggering the voice to go off on and off. It sucked big time to put up with that inner noises. Yuck didn’t appreciate it at all.

I could have gone outside for a walk but I only went to the laundry room where I had to wait to use the washer. The washer was in use actually. I did read a bit of a book by Saint Maria the polish saint while I waited for a washer to be free. I read bit of her diary actually is what that book is about.

Well during that diary reading I wound up text emailed by mom for phoning. I wound up onto the phone twice once to swear vulgarity because mom was ignoring me. The second phone call mom picked up despite me over ten minutes late actually. Ugh. I wound up on the phone for like fifteen minutes. Mom ended call abruptly on the rude side. She had things to do. Ugh.

After phone call I wound up doing laundry at the blue house instead of at dad’s house as suggested by mom. I opt to not to haul my laundry to dad’s house instead I did laundry at the blue house. Ugh I used the outside entrance when walking in and out of the laundry room but I used the inner inside entrance for suitcase hauling. Ugh.

There were poop bombs of doggy shit on the grass hence I avoiding using my suitcase to haul that thing through the grass. Instead I used the inside entrance despite it looking like it was freshly painted. Ugh again.

Ugh number two caused the voice to blare last night scaring me. Ugh again.

I was up for hours till like midnight is when the voice quit attacking me or scaring me. I tried to read a book but the paranoia bothered me so I went onto the computer to edit this story “Eric Reborn.” I wound up finishing the edits as a result. Yay me!

Also I could have posted that story “Eric Reborn” online Smashwords last night but I couldn’t think of an explanation paragraph involving that story while having the voice attacking me at the time. Instead I wound up forming a book cover then after that I went to bed when the voice quit its attack onto me. Ugh.

I did assume that I was tired hence the voice’s attack. I tried twice to sleep off the attack but the paranoia bothered me and the voice made me think I’ll have an interrupted sleep. So I wound up onto the computer editing this short story as a result. It’s just something to do while away my time with the voice’s attack. Ugh.

After the attack quit bothering me is when I went to bed in the wee hour of the midnight time frame. I slept till morning of seven o’clock woken up by bladder urges to pee. Ugh. I tried to sleep some more but couldn’t due to the voice attacking me with its familiar question. Ugh the voice!

I took a shower which before I got wet the voice told me “It’s too early.”
I meant the time frame of when I showered was around the seven fifteen time frame. I don’t normally shower during the seven o’clock time hour instead I shower after that time. Since I was up I figured a shower would do me some good so I did that.

I showered warmly despite the voice telling me once I was done with the shower “I told you not to shower too warmly.”
Sometimes the voice tells me when I’m about to shower “Don’t shower too warmly.”

Also wound up eating some food as a result. Mostly because the time wasn’t time for me to take my pills so I ate anyway. I was hungry last night because of feeling like I didn’t eat enough food for dinner. It sucked big time to go to bed with that feeling in my stomach.

Ugh think this hungry is reason why hence I attacked by the voice. Yuck involving number two. Don’t care for that shitty fact that the number two got the schizophrenia going attacking me. Ugh.

Also I aim to rope dad into driving me around town so I can do errands such as going to school library to drop off donations. I found some books on hand I might as well donate when I get the chance to do it. Also I figured it shouldn’t be a problem to bug dad into taking me grocery shopping.

I ate the last of my fruit last night hence I didn’t eat much for dinner. I should have eaten more food as a result but I didn’t bother. I was hit with number two at the time of five o’clock hour while I was eating my food. The number two crap in the bathroom ruined my appetite for eating more foods. This sucks big time when that has to happen. Ugh.

Also I was expecting mom to be free for a phone call at six o’clock which she wasn’t. She ignored me text emailing her for a reply till seven o’clock is when I phoned her to whine of this ignorance. She picked up as a result of me trying to leave a message.

I was on the phone for over an hour till eight thirty is when we signed off. I noticed at that time after I was done phoning is when I felt like I was hungry enough to eat. I didn’t eat anything because of how late the evening hour it was for food eating. Ugh.

I think around ten o’clock is when the voice attacked me involving number two. I tried to go onto the computer ignoring the TV left on. I tried to sleep the attack off but couldn’t. I wound up onto the computer as a result of trying to get my mind off the inner noises. It sucks big time to be attacked.

Also while I was laying in bed the voice’s attack made me think of being on the computer. So I wound up obeying to that thought and was on the computer till midnight is when the voice quit attacking me.

I did have some thoughts of me being tired hence the voice’s attack. I thought that thought because I tried to sleep off the attack twice but couldn’t. I wound up onto the computer as a result till the voice quit scaring me. Ugh.

The scaring of the voice involved when I was sure I could sleep despite having number two late that night around eleven thirty. Ugh. It was a small amount of solid waste when I went to the bathroom. It’s disgusting that this bathroom’s case had to trigger the voice to go off as a result. Don’t care for this shitty issue except I get to sleep the best I can. Ugh.

Sam gave me a cat’s version of a hug while I was on the computer last night. I guess she was concerned for me so she gave me a nice hug then walked off. I found the baby cat on my bed last night when I crashed. Cutie was snoozing right where I sleep in my bed. I guess she likes to smell me so cute aw.

“Have a good day love you mom” mom text emailed me around nine o’clock.
Well a few minutes before that time. I should reply but I don’t even know of what to say to her. I suck big time when I’m not big on replying to people’s text emails via cell phone. I can reply to Facebook’s text emails but not the cell phone.

This morning I posted “Eric Reborn” online Smashwords. Yay me!

I even did a book cover to that story last night but this morning I posted the story online. I did think of a good paragraph to describe the story as a result. The paragraph turned out ok as far as I know of. Ugh.

Also I’ve been meaning to have more stories self published online Smashwords but I’m just not entirely sure of what stories I should self publish. Ugh again.

Plus I haven’t been in the mood for self publishing lengthy stories. Instead I’ve been doing short stories some are a few thousand words long. I do ask for a fee for those stories despite their adult content. Ugh I don’t care for a kid to accidentally download the story and get influenced by the adult content in it. Yuck.

Baby cutie cuddle bummed me this morning. It was rather nice to wake up to her royal cuteness cuddling me. I like that waking up to her.

Baby cat did get onto my front during my sleep and licked my face bare of an eye wear mask galore. Cutie seemed to be concerned for me hence she kneading my front and licking my face. It was rather nice to have her do that aw cute.

“Sounds like a pretty relaxing and productive day” Janet said at nine o’clock.
This is her response to my text email via Facebook this morning around the seven o’clock hour. Ugh. She’s hardly very talkative via text emails in Facebook. I guess she’s talkative with someone else than with me. Oh well.

I sent Maureen a lengthy text email via Facebook.
The message is just multiple paragraphs ending with the message of “TTYL8R on flip side.”

I always end my messages to Maureen with that commentary wording. I don’t bother adding much commentary to that message besides that ending part. I find if I don’t do that message I get upset and annoyed and picked on by the voice so I end my messages to Maureen with that saying as a result. Ugh.

Thursday I wound up roped by dad to go to his house for cats feeding around the five o’clock to six o’clock hour. Ugh. He told me of the cats feeding request around twelve thirty. Ugh stressed me out as a result.

I wound up sweating a lot via armpits area as a result of waiting forever till it was time to go to dad’s house to feed his cats. Ugh also made up my mind to eat dinner first then go to dad’s house. I had to wait till like five o’clock to eat my full dinner then after that I walked to dad’s house.

I wound up with the voice chanting “Are you forgetting something?”
The voice chanted just prior to me leaving to dad’s house. Ugh I think somewhere on the way to dad’s house the voice triggered my paranoia to go off the charts.

Yuck I wound up at dad’s house. I only saw Willow walking into dad’s bedroom. I didn’t see the other carts. I assumed they were in dad’s bedroom I didn’t look around instead feed the cats wet food then after that marched myself out of his house and speed walked myself home despite paranoia and voice going off the charts as a result. Ugh.

I got home with paranoia aggravated by the voice and wound up taking a cold shower then put on my pajamas. I wound up having to wash my water bottle including my face and teeth then went onto the computer.

I was tempted to snooze off the attack of paranoia and voice going but I didn’t bother. I wound up just reading this story onto my computer involving changing the character of that story from third person to first person. I made that story appearing to be a character’s telling the tale to grandchildren. Something like that I guess.

Oh well.

Friday I text emailed dad to take me out using words “Please and thanks.”
He agreed and gave me a time of one o’clock. Dad arrived early actually five minutes early or maybe earlier than that till I noticed him out the window.


I wound up going to the town library where I bought a book by James Patterson involving his Maximum Ride series. I have no idea if those books are brand new of the series or just new cover designs to make them more interesting. I’ll have to get around to reading those damned paperback when I get the chance to do it.

Ugh again.

I also wound up buying a book by Nora Roberts. I bought the hardcover to the series Chesapeake Bay series. I’ve been meaning to buy the e-books of that series but haven’t yet. Oh well. I bought the last book in the four book series called “Chesapeake Blue.” I thought that book would be a good buy so I bought it.

After that the total for the two books cost me a dollar and fifty cents which I paid via two bucks. The librarian made me fork over thirty cents because of a late fine involving a library book. Ugh not happy about that shit at all. It sucks big time when I had to use the quarters to pay for the library fine then get twenty cents back as a result. Ugh not happy about that fact.

Also I could have used the quarters for laundry today but I didn’t bother. It sucked big time to get dimes back for my coins purse. Ugh.

Anyway I wound up checking out two library books by Nora Roberts. One was the third book in her “Born In” trilogy called “Born in Shame” I’ve been meaning to read. I’ve read the other two books so far so I’m aiming to read the third when I get the chance.

I also checked out “Worth the Risk” a two story book also by Nora Roberts. I don’t recall ever reading that book so I checked it out. After that was to stop and shop where I bought food but omitted some foods I forgot to buy. Ugh hate that forgetting. Ugh again.

Also dad gave me forty dollars for the cats’ feeding job. I was inclined to take in fifteen dollars but dad gave me forty dollars so I’m not going to protest to that forty dollar payment.

I bought groceries then I went home. I wound up exchanging my clothes to t-shirt and shorts. I did change into a pair of sweats as a result. Not the sweats I’ve worn earlier that day. I’ve figured I’ll wear them after I finish cleaning around here. Ugh.

Maureen text emailed me to expect Eddie at eleven o’clock for cleaning. Ugh not going to be staying up so late. I might as well stay up till eleven o’clock in the evening then crash and hope for the best in my sleep then welcome Eddie for the cleaning in the morning ugh.

Well Eddie arrived for cleaning like Maureen said one morning. He cleaned the kitchen. I already vacuumed around my home before he arrived so he noticed that cleaned status. Nice.

I didn't go out that day instead I stayed home entertaining miss fur coat with slobbering kisses and hugs. I don't get it how that cat can withstand those slobbering kisses and hugs I give her cuteness galore. I just don't get it at all.

After Eddie's visit was the nurse's afternoon visit. She text emailed me expecting me to be free for a visit that day. Ugh I couldn't go out to eat like I expected myself to do. Instead I had to stay home and stuff my face full of crappy foods while I waited for the nurse to arrive.

The nurse arrived and found my vitals fine. She balked my request for taking my extra copies of the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer. I'm not entirely sure of what to do with those extra copies. I either read them or just read the e-books version. Not entirely sure of which to do. Ugh oh well.

I hate weekends in town. The weekends always depresses me when I'm stuck at home entertaining the cat and eating nothing but crappy junk food. This stinks big time when I get depressed every damn weekend. Ugh.

I always get depressed when school isn't in session for the summer despite having some summer classes. I don't bother taking some summer classes very much. I just don't anyway. I could have taken some summer courses but I'll need the money saved on hand for that. College is expensive nowadays. It stinks big time when college classes are really expensive at community colleges. Ugh really annoying!

Also when school isn't in session for fall and spring I get depressed because my friends I know from college aren't around for the summer months. Instead their just on vacation and at their homes having stuff done. This sucks big time when I'm depressed as a result of that lack of school college in session for my friends to hang around. Ugh.

Hence I'm depressed and stuck taking Prozac for my depression as a result.

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Bedtime stuff I noticed

May. 17th, 2016 | 09:18 pm
mood: aggravatedaggravated

“You should be in bed.” said the schizophrenia while I was in the bathroom.
I was dizzy from staring at the computer so I got up to hit the toilet and just give myself a break from staring at that thing. Ugh the schizophrenia interfered and mentioned its comment.

Ooh I should be in bed like the schizophrenia said.
“I wonder what time I should go to bed?” I thought to myself.
“Ten o’clock. Take your pill. Go to bed.” says the schizophrenia in response to my question.

Ugh I’m just tired tonight but not entirely sure of how late I should stay up.
“Go to bed!” I’m hearing from the schizophrenia.

Also once this show “Love it or List it” is over I’m going to bed like the schizophrenia ordered me in an insisting tone of voice. I’m not staying up so late anyway. I’m too tired and too lazy to bother to keep the one o’clock bedtime in the morning. I prefer to keep the ten o’clock bedtime because I’m tired like hell. Ugh.

Plus the tinnitus has been noisy all damn day. I do hope the noise doesn’t turn into voice’s talk or I’ll be up for hours reading a damn book as a result.

I’m sure that the staring at the computer isn’t going to be helpful when I get a voice’s attack. I’m sure that last night’s staring wrecked me up hence I getting a voice’s attack tonight. I’m hoping I don’t get a voice’s attack tonight but it might hit me when I’m tired enough to crash into bed. Ugh.

I’m hoping that my sleep in bed cuts the voice’s attack off so I can get some rest. I deserved to get some well deserved sleep as I hoped. Ugh again.

Ugh the voice attacked me Saturday night around the ten o’clock hour. I guess I was tired as heck. Ugh I noticed when I’m tired is when the voice attacks me. Ooh I wound up crashing around the ten o’clock hour after taking my pill the Saphris. Then I slept fine till morning of seven o’clock.

I considered sleeping some more but rejected that idea. Also baby cutie was a cuddle bum onto me morning so I gave her some nice attention. She went to TV watch via blinds of the sliding door. I let her do that instead of chasing her cuteness off.

Oh well.

I wound up into the mood to type something so I typed an email to Janet who replied. I haven’t read her email yet. I signed out online soon after she read my email. I figured I’ll go type onto the computer my thoughts instead. It’s just something to amuse myself for awhile.


Plus I’ve got to text email mom for phoning soon after I shower and take my pills. I did eat some food but I didn’t take my pills yet. It’s not time for pills yet. Ugh. I hate being all over the place in the morning for taking my pills.

“I need to consider doing laundry but I’ll be fighting with the neighbors for use of machines.” My thoughts while in the bathroom eyeing my laundry basket.
Voice said in response “Do laundry at dad’s house.”
Ugh meant hauling that suitcase full of clothes to dad’s house and doing laundry there while entertaining his stinky cats and dad himself in bed asleep. Ugh not what I had in mind anyway.

Also Maureen hasn’t been online in hours posting stuff. Ugh I like it when Maureen bothers to read my emails but she hasn’t yet. I guess she’s busy doing interpreting graduations this weekend like she said she would. Pity poor Maureen stuck doing that interpreting.

I text emailed mom via cell phone and received ignorance. I swear she’s sleeping late in the morning again. Ugh pity mom was sick with a sinus headache yesterday. Now I guess she’s hit with that today. Poor mom’s sick with sinuses hurting her today oh well.

I wound up sick in the bathroom with heavy number two. I’m surprised the voice hasn’t commented a word in response to me sick in the bathroom. Usually the voice comments some wording when I’m sick in the bathroom or before I go number two. Sometimes the voice chants comments after I go to the bathroom number two. I’m just surprised I didn’t get anything this morning while sick in the bathroom. Ugh.

Also I took my pills around the eight thirty time frame including some breakfast so that’s probably playing a factor in the silence of the voice in my mind. Ugh could be that or maybe it’s just that time of morning where I don’t get voice’s chatter. Either that or the lack of chatter involves the pill I took earlier. I’m not entirely sure of that.

Mom text emailed me but her line was busy. I hate it when mom text emails me and has her line busy when I ring her back. Really rude of mom to do that phoning joke onto me!

“It’s me who’s annoyed! Your line is busy when I ranged you up! Get off phone or text email me!” my message to her cell phone.
I’m just impatiently waiting for her response to her damned line being busy. Really rude of mom to do that to me!

“Got work love you mom” her text email response.
Ugh couldn’t she be more descriptive in her text emails to me.
Like saying what’s her work shift for today is besides that line of “got work?”
Jeez mom!

Since mom’s working I’ll have to rope dad into driving me around town for errands including to Torrington for donation to the goodwill store including to the dump for dumping those boxes of journals. Ugh. Also town library for dumping those library books I don’t want to read or finish.

“I love my cute baby bundle of fur.” I sang mentally towards the baby kitten.
The baby cute kitten was tummy sitting onto the floor looking pet able and cute. Aw. I love it when the baby cat tummy sits on the floor. She sure looks cute enough to rub my hands onto her furry back. She’s so cute.

I wound up with heavy number two in the bathroom that got the voice going its familiar question "Are you forgetting something?"
Sometimes the voice says "Forgetting some."

I wound up sitting down in the armchair TV watching “Property Brothers: Buying and Selling” on HGTV channel. Ugh. Baby cute kitten couldn’t help being cold so she sat on my lap despite me having a noisy head. Poor baby cutie was cold as usual this morning. Poor cute baby kitten aw.

Also I did crashing for a nap via armchair with the baby cat sitting on my lap. She even fell asleep while on my lap as a result of me snoozing there. I had some muse talk dreams as a result. I’m not entirely sure if I can type that muse talk idea down or not.

Oh well sucks big time anyway.

I did text emailing dad to take me out. He gave me a time of one o’clock which he arrived five minutes early. I stuffed my journals into bags and carried all four bags to his car where he stuffed them into his trunk of his SUV. After that was to the town library where I dropped off two library books one was “Written in Red” I didn’t finish.

I couldn’t find myself motivated to finish that book “Written in Red.” I figured I’ll finish that damn book later. It shouldn’t be a problem anyway. I also dropped off another library book “Murder of Crows” also by Anne Bishop. That book is book two in “The Others” series by the author Anne Bishop I didn’t bother to read. I figured when I’m in the mood again I’ll check those two books out again just when I feel up to it.

I wound up buying “City of Ashes” by Cassandra Clare and “Born Confused” by an Indian female with an Indian name. I haven’t really read “Born Confused” in awhile so I thought I would try that book again when the mood strikes me.

I also bought “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins. I bought the movie version of Collins’ book series book one. I thought “The Hunger Games” would be a good buy so I got the book.

All three books cost me a dollar and fifty cents so I made a good buy anyway.

After that we went was dad’s house where he picked up garbage for the recycling center the dump. We went to the dump. I helped dad dump my useless journals into the recycling bin and then took a look and see in the dump’s store. I didn’t find any books worth buying.

I did find Stephenie Meyer’s “Eclipse” in hardcover. Since I already have copies of that book in hardcover and in e-book formats I didn’t buy the dump’s copy version. Instead I found the dump was too trashy for my standards so I walked out and went to the car.

Dad drove me to CVS where I picked up prescriptions of Prozac and Geodon including blowing practically almost all of my money onto a book journal. I was hoping on using that book journal as a gymnastics’ scrapbook for pasting and posting pictures of gymnasts into that notebook. I thought a book journal would be appropriate than a spiral bound notebook.


After that was grocery shopping but the store’s food option weren’t good for me. Mostly the frozen food’s options were out of service due to a power outage that lasted an hour according to dad.

Ugh again.

I wasn’t able to buy many foods like I hoped. I only bought about fifteen bucks worth of foods that weren’t refrigerator able with some change via food stamp card.

Ugh sucks big time anyway.

After that I went home where I snacked onto a banana and turned the TV onto HGTV channel. Their airing a marathon of “Beachfront Bargain Hunt” show involving house hunters finding homes at the beach for bargain prices of below four hundred thousand dollars. Ugh boring me to tears actually.

I think the power outage earlier that hit the town caused my computer service to be slow. I think the power outage explains why I had slow internet connections. Ugh plus slowness involving my computer doing anything for me. Yuck how terrible big time anyway.

Anyway I had to shut down the computer and go focus onto the TV watching HGTV crappy shows till they showed that marathon of “Beachfront Bargain Hunt.” I’m just wondering when they’ll show interior design shows besides house hunting crap. I don’t care for their programs on HGTV except “Fixer Upper” and “Property Brothers.” Those two shows are what I can stand involving that damn channel. Ugh yuck.

Baby cutie was found snoozing on my bed which I gave her kisses on the snout. She was so tolerant of those kisses. Aw cute. Plus the baby cute kitten watched me exchanged my clothes from thick red t-shirt and pants to shorts and a thinner t-shirt.

I wound up hot as a result of being home from grocery shopping. Hauling in those bags of food always wears me out including makes me hot hence the clothes exchanged. Also I was pretty much exhausted from hauling into dad’s car those bags of journals including hauling them from his car to the dump’s recycling bin. Ugh couldn’t wait to get home to eat.

Oh well.

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The joys of scrapbooking...

May. 13th, 2016 | 08:33 pm
mood: creativecreative

I love my cat a lot to say lovely dove messages of love to her cuteness into my journals. I love that little munchkin. I love my cute little baby bundle of fur. Aw love that little munchkin galore. Love that cat too much to slobber kisses and hug fests her. Aw she’s so cute.

I woke up one morning around 7 a.m. with the cutest cat sitting on my front. She licked my face galore then accepted me petting her back. She’s so cute when she kneads me. Aw love that fur ball galore. She’s cute.

Anyway I woke up and thought I could sleep some more but decided against it. I wound up with a splitting sinus headache as a result. Ugh I didn’t feel like sleeping some more so I woke up and lathered attention onto miss fur coat. She’s cute like I said.

Also I showered warmly around the seven o’clock hour.
The voice said “It’s too early.”
Kept on saying that comment when I was about to shower. Really rude!

Also I wound up showering fine but after I showered I got hot from the shower.
The voice said “I told you not to shower so warmly.”
Ugh really annoying.

After that shower Sam demanded food so I fed her royal highness the baby cat some dry food. She happily munched onto that then thanked me by giving me hugs her version via rubbing onto my legs. So cute!

Speaking of the baby cute kitten she’s gone to tummy sit nearby me. She’s mostly staring at me and looking elsewhere while seated on the floor in a cute tummy sits position. She makes me want to run my hand down her cute furry back. She’s cute.

I’ve meant to read and finish “Written in Red” by Anne Bishop. Problem is I haven’t been in the mood for that damn book. I’ve managed to read halfway through Bishop’s book so far. I haven’t been able to read more of that. I think that book is rather interesting so far but my motivation to read and finish that book isn't there much. I’m just hoping I can get around to finishing “Written in Red” before the due date of May nineteenth is when it’s due back at the town library. I might have to return that book unfinished one of those days. I'm just not motivated on reading more of that book. Ugh.

Also I’m currently in progress of reading Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska’s diary book. I figured I’ll read that book before bed most nights when I feel inclined. It shouldn’t be a problem for me to read that book during the day when I feel up to it.

I've so far had a stressful week of Eddie's visit to clean the bathroom. Then I’ve got Melissa coming for two days at five thirty. I have to figure out what to do with Melissa when’s she’s here for an hour or more. Ugh just not sure of what to do with her other than doing some painting of birdhouses and frames. Ugh again but that’ll be entertaining anyway.

Humph I had Melissa here which I tried onto some clothes in private then did a fashion show to her. She approved some clothes but thought some of them needed coverage. Oh well. We wound up painting frames and birdhouses including decorating them. Then we did coloring via coloring books. Seems entertaining.

Melissa talked about her car's problem as a source of her talk and why's she's late. She was late two days in a row. Anyway I don't have anything scheduled with her for the following week or anything else involving her. Yay me because it was stressful entertaining Melissa. Ugh really stressful.

I text emailed mom via cell phone “Its Beth its 745a I’m up so text email me mews phone wise.” this morning.
Some message sort of along the lines like that anyway. Now I have to wait forever for mom’s text email for phoning morning. Ugh not happy about that waiting. Ugh.

I sort of have to sit around waiting for mom’s text email including waiting till the time’s 10 a.m. to see if mom's not going to text email me. Ugh hate this endless waiting. This waiting sucks big time anyway.

Also I could have read a book while having the TV on blaring but I got to pay attention to the doorbell sensor going off for visitors. Ugh sucks big time when I can barely finish reading "Written in Red." I just don't get it why I can't seem to finish that damn book. It stinks big time anyway. Oh might be bored of that book hence my lack of motivation. Ugh.

Baby cutie hid while I was vacuuming the bedroom and living room. I spotted the baby kitten walking around in sight. She’s cute when she’s curious. Aw.

Out of boredom I bought a bunch of books off Better World Books’ site on eBay. Ugh. It sucks big time when I do that buying but the total’s price was less than twenty bucks. I’m fine for now involving my checking account. I got more than fifty bucks into checking so I’m hoping to keep it that much. I’m hoping to keep the amount in checking to be more than fifty bucks. It’s the same in savings just as long as I can keep fifty dollars into there I’ll be happy as a clam.

Maureen contacted me via Facebook chat option on my cell phone. I had to quit the TV and focused onto the cell phone and onto the computer while I go type my thoughts down. Ugh.

The books which one I’ve bought were Queen Noor’s autobiography “My Leap of Faith.” I’ve read that before but didn’t really remember much of that book very good hence I ordering a copy to read again. Ugh I’ve meant to read that once I have that damn book in hand.

Ugh oh well ordered a set of the “Twilight Saga” by Stephenie Meyer that came in a box for like less than seven dollars. I thought I would add more books by Meyer’s “Twilight Saga” into my collection. Mostly I am seeing what the books in that collection come out looking like. Its supposedly be in their own box or something like that. I’ll just have to wait and see when I get the set in the mail.

I ordered two books by Kerri Strug that is her autobiographies. One is a kids’ book while the other is “Landing on my Feet” an autobiography book further onto her life. I thought I would order copies of that to tote around publicity instead of the signed books I got at home. Ugh I like having copies of books that are signed for me to read and tote around. I just do.

I wound up with Melissa’s visit around five o’clock when I was eating food. Ugh. I had to rush eat my food then entertain her with a fashion show involving clothes I was trying on. I also wound up giving up clothes that couldn’t fit me as a result. It sucked big time to give up some good pairs of pants because I couldn’t fit into them. Ugh.

After that around the 6 p.m. hour I wound up attacked by the voice when I was sick in the bathroom number two galore. I wound up ignoring Melissa to go type onto the computer some muse talk. She noticed me doing that but didn’t ask me the actual reason for it.

Oh well I had to wait fifteen minutes till she actually left. Ugh to my relief.

Also I wound up attacked by the voice a lengthy time period of time till like midnight is when it quit scaring me. Ugh I kept on hitting the bathroom for number two over and over. It sucked big time to have that sickness hit me. Yuck!

I wound up fixing up a story to be self published online Smashwords. I just have to fix that up when I get the chance to do it some more. Ugh that story isn’t ready for self publishing yet. I have to figure out what to title that story and where to put that story into my Edenia series. Ugh.

I wound up quitting the computer around 11:30 p.m. fed up with using that thing. I wound up reading a bit of a story via ratty book. Nice story enough to get the voice to quit bothering me. More likely got the tinnitus to sing instead of the voices’ talk as a result.

Story I emailed to dad and Anne via my email account is titled "Pave's Promise." I’m just going to text email dad that I emailed that story to him. I figured I’ll ask him for his opinion on the story and hope for the best. Ugh also I mentioned that story from another story so I thought I would do a version of that book I mentioned in another story. Sort of my version of that story actually. Just entertaining me.

Baby cutie cuddle bummed me again in the morning after I got up for the bathroom. Cutie was so cute doing that cuddling. I love that little munchkin galore. She’s such a cute little kitten. Aw love her too much to slather kisses onto her including gathering her into my arms for hug fests. She’s so tolerant of that. Aw cute!

Baby cutie’s gone to hide somewhere not sure where. I guess the weather must be raining and storming now that she’s hiding underneath my damn bed again. Dumb cat dumb animal doesn’t get it involving the thunder and lightening storms. Ugh oh well.

Also wound up sick today with heavy number two. I swear something I’ve eaten either today or the previous day made me sick today. This sucks big time when I’m friends with the toilet today. Ugh also got the tinnitus noisy as heck including getting a bit of the voice's chatter. I hate that fact that the voice talks when I'm in the bathroom doing number two. I don't like that damned reminder. This sucks big time!

Mom text emailed me. Yay or rats! Mom kept call short as thirty minutes. She was whining or complaining of her sinus hurting and not feeling good. Plus the operator kept on spelling “Sinus” as “Science.” Ugh. Also operator hung up the call after we each gave up our lovely dove message. Really rude!

After the phone call I wound up turning onto the TV to the HGTV channel. I’m not doing much tonight besides the HGTV channel binge watching till like eleven o’clock is when I’m going to bed and snooze.

I’m not staying up till one o’clock in the morning again like I did this morning. Yuck. I was busy typing ideas for a short story titled "Pave's Promise" down so I did that. It was rather entertaining doing that typing. I didn’t mind but when around one o’clock arrived I quit the computer and took my pill then crashed. Ugh.

I did wound up with ideas for finishing that story I was working on so I did that this morning. After that I spent today trying to amuse myself. I wound up looking through boxes in the closet that had journals in them. I figured I’ll throw them out or get them shredded like nuts. Ugh shouldn’t be a problem anyway.

I finished a writing journal today. Yay me! Also I have to figure out what notebook or journal I should use for pasting and taping pictures of gymnasts into it like a scrapbook. I think I’ll go to CVS and buy a five subject notebook and use that for pasting and taping pictures and make that as my scrapbook.

I’m not entirely sure if there are notebooks like three ring binders nowadays. Not entirely sure if that’s paper notebooks is what’s people are using for writing materials when it comes to schooling. I have no idea if students are still using them for that. Not sure.

Anyway I figured I’ll just buy stock in CVS’ five subject notebooks and just use them as scrapbooks. Nice idea but I got to get around to buying them and using them galore. Also get around to cutting out pictures from gymnastics magazines I don’t care to save on hand and just use them for scrap booking fun. It’ll be entertaining anyway.

Plus I have to save the covers of journals I favor. Mostly I tearing out the paper written words I've used and shredding them. But saving the journals' who's covers are what I like. I wouldn't mind doing that but I'm not sure if the schizophrenia would agree.
It's saying "Bad idea toss them out."

Ugh sucks big time when I can't win when it comes to ideas involving me trying to think. It sucks anyway when the schizophrenia shreds me and my thinking enough to think like an idiot sometimes. Ugh really annoying!

Also I'm idiotic when it comes to crossing roads and walking in parking lots. Mom worries about me getting hit by cars. She keeps up the protection when we cross roads and parking lots. Dad couldn't care less and doesn't bother doing that at all. Ugh don't know what's up with that behavior from Dad and Mom. Oh well.

Plus tinnitus has been noisy today that I can't hear myself think very good. I don't even know if the food I'm eating is making the tinnitus really noisy. Some of that tinnitus' noises sounds like voice's gibberish.

It's really annoying when I wound up with this inner noises' problem. Ugh.

I just aimed to take my pill at ten o'clock then wait an hour or thirty minutes or whatever and just crash into bed. I'm not staying up till one o'clock in the morning like I did working on this story "Pave's Promise."

This staying up really annoyed me too much but I had the muse talking at the time including the mood to type muse talk. So I stayed up till I got to the point of the story where I was sure I ended it and crashed into bed.

"Pave's Promise" left me thinking of some ideas for ending that story while in bed asleep. I wound up thinking of that idea as a result when I fell into bed. I woke up this morning and filled in that ending scene so I'm happy as a cat purring its motorboat off. Cute anyway.

I've meaning to finish some other stories I've got on file to finish them and fill in the blanks of the outlines. I haven't bothered to do that yet. I'm just hoping I can fill in those outlines and get the stories online Smashwords self published like I hoped. Ugh.

Also I'll have to take some nice pictures of some nature setting via cell phone and email that photo to myself via computer and hope to download it. Ugh. I hate having to take photos from internet but I don't care to cause trouble with someone doing that copyright status with their photo with my stories.

Ugh sucks big time!

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Stuff and weekend mews

May. 9th, 2016 | 08:34 pm
mood: amusedamused

I wound up ignored this morning when I text emailed mom to text email me. She didn’t bother to reply at all. Really rude!

After that I think around noon I walked to Greenwoods’ hall at school carrying a stop and shop bag full of stuff like food for the picnic and something for me to write and read. Ugh that bag was heavy as a result. Yuck plus it didn’t rain till I arrived at the gazebo is when it poured water heavily. Yuck again.

Also Maureen was late arriving to the gazebo. I had to text email her that I was there waiting for her. Ugh. She arrived late as a result. Ugh again also arrived with this half Indian deaf girl named Lubna or Luba or some name like that in the front seat. I sat in the back waiting for Maureen to drive off. She was waiting for another student who was rudely late. Really rude!

I wound up constipated when I went to the picnic. I think I ate some foods that weren’t junky candy or anything like cheese. Instead I avoided that foods while eating my food. Also I wound up sick in the bathroom with number two. The voices got involved with the sickness and aggravated my paranoia. I had to read a bit of a library book “The Beast” I’ve brought along with me.

I found that Eddie helped me feel better by announcing he was leaving so I begged him to drive me home. I was sick with the voice attacking me at the time and wanted to go home immediately. He agreed even though I told him the exact reason of my voice’s problem ugh while in the car.

My leaving worried Maureen so I received a text email from her around three o’clock when I was home reading “The Beast.” I replied that I was home sick with a voice attack and didn’t reply to her text email further. Ugh I could have but I didn’t bother.

Also I read “The Beast” by J.R. Ward for an hour or around that time. I read a total of ninety four pages. Yay me!

Also I could have read or finished the chapter I was on but the tinnitus got loud in my head and bothered me so I quit the reading of that damn book. This sucks big time when I wasn’t able to finish reading that damn chapter I was on.

After that I watched Ellen’s show featuring mother’s day shit for pregnant women. Ugh I don’t care for that but I watched that shitty episode anyway.

I also slobbered cute baby kitten with lots of kisses and hugs during Ellen’s show. Or whenever she allowed me to slobber her with that and didn’t run off to hide underneath the couch. Ugh dumb cat dumb animal.

Plus I ate dinner then at six o’clock I ranged mom up. I tried to leave a message onto her answering machine but she picked up on the second time I ranged her number up. Mom picked up to whine of her lost pen and wanting to know her work schedule for the following week. She kept phone call short as fifteen minutes by hanging up onto me. Ugh I thanked the operator then after that I wound up onto computer typing my thoughts down.

Mom did say via phone that she plans to stop by town library to drop off “The Bourbon Kings” and then visit me tonight. She better drop that damn book off. I got an email from them a reminder of the book due on the thirteenth next week. Ugh.

Also mom whined via phone of wanting to know her damn work shift for the following week including a pen she lost that I gave her. Ugh. She was whining of both actually too much and cut our phone call short as a result. This is really annoying when mom does this to me ugh.

Anyway yesterday I wound up with number two at the state park where I was picnicking and wound up attacked by the voice. It triggered my paranoia to go off. Ugh also I got home early as a result despite not saying anything to Maureen oh well.

Also I gave Maureen a card with a picture of a cat on it and a rabbit on top of the cat. It was a card that Cheryl gave me for a holiday which I cut out the part she wrote on it. I gave the blank part to Maureen for as a birthday gift. I thought it’ll be nice to do that anyway since I was seeing her yesterday for the picnic. Ugh nice.

After that I got home and cleaned the Dumperium. Mom worried me quite a bit because she didn’t communicate to me within an hour’s time frame.

Mom text Yay!

I wound up on the phone for a short time with mom. She wasn’t too talkative and so was I. Ugh anyway got off the phone with mom.

As I was saying last night around 8:30 p.m. mom arrived with the library book “The Bourbon Kings.” I think she should have dropped that off at the library but she didn’t bother to do that shitty dropping off. She sucks big time. Ugh.

Anyway I wound up attacked by the voice last night so I wound up going to shower because of the Dumperium cleaning I did. Ugh I was covered with kitty litter dust. Yucky smell and yucky feeling so I showered after mom left.

The voice attacked me during that time. I wound up with my paranoia aggravated as a result. I didn’t want to sleep the attack off instead I worked onto “Eric Reborn” story. Mostly I worked till the voice and paranoia stopped attacking me. I wound up with the computer freezing up as a result. I wasn’t sure if my work was saved so I shut down the computer then restarted it. Ugh.

Also I wound up TV watching reruns on HGTV channel showing “Love it or List it” shit show. I missed the result of one show cause of my attack by the voice. Plus I could barely remember what the result of the second show was because I wasn’t paying attention very much. I was having Sam on my lap while I journal via notebook instead of computer.

Ugh sucks big time.

Speaking of the baby cute kitten she’s on the couch tummy sitting galore at the moment. She sure looks cute when her tummy sits. I love to pickup the baby cat for slobbering her with kisses and hugging her galore. She’s so tolerant of those kisses and hugs I cutely give her cuteness. She’s so cute!

I’ve meant to go out by myself to the town library to drop off “The Bourbon Kings.” Not entirely sure of when I should do that shitty walking. I’m just too tired and lazy to bother to do that walking today.

Plus the sun isn’t shining at the moment. It’s cloudy and looking gloomy outside. Yucky weather makes me curl up and snooze with the baby cat in my arms.

Also my eyes are feeling tired too. I’m not sure if its eyestrain from too much reading of a book yesterday or it’s from staring at the computer too much. Not entirely sure of that eyes problem anyway. My eyes’ hurt at the moment that I’m not so sure if I can read anything today. Ugh.

Anyway I wound up taking a nice nap via lounger with the cutest cat on my lap. She was lap happy galore as a result. I even let her snooze on my lap for an hour warming my thighs. I forced her off my lap as a result of needing to hit the toilet.

Also HGTV decided to marathon “Flip or Flop” all afternoon. Ugh boring me to tears actually.

I was writing a lot via journaling in a notebook including letting cutie sleeping on my lap. I wound up aggravated by the cutie’s warmth and bathroom issues so I booted her off and went to the bathroom then went to type onto the computer. Ugh I’m just itching to type something down for a bit.

I intended to go online and type something like an email to Janet in response to her short foreign language text email she sent me in response to me sending her a picture of Sam. Ugh I wasn’t in the mood. Oh well.

Plus Maureen wasn’t online and hasn’t been online in awhile or for hours. The hour time frame is going on four hours actually since she’s been online. Ugh not entirely sure of what to do involving her birthday today. Ugh don’t know anyway. Humph!

Today’s cloudy and rainy and not so sunny with sunshine. The lack of sunshine is making me lazy enough to stay home with the TV on blaring and the cutest cat ever snoozing on my lap. Aw cute love that little munchkin. Today is terrible weather for walking today without the sun shining. Ugh oh well.

Hence I staying home today out of wanting to be lazy enough to do nothing but slobber the kitty with kisses and gathering her into my arms for hugs’ fests. I love that little bundle of fur too much to kiss and hug fest her too. She’s so tolerant of those hugs and kisses I give her cuteness. She’s so cute when hugged and kissed. Aw cute!

Humph put my coins into wrappers. I’m short a dollar’s amount for coins. Ugh I don’t get it at all. Either I put too many coins into wrappers or I miscalculated on my coins. This sucks big time when I’m off with my coins. Ugh not happy about that shitty fact that I’m missing one dollar off with my coins. Not so good. Ugh. Also neighbor banged multiple times in response to me doing my coin counting. Really rude!

I swear that neighbor thinks banging is better than telling that damned dog mongrel of theirs to shut up. I swear they spoil that damn dog of theirs. They don’t bother picking up after that dog’s bathroom shit at all. I don’t care for that damn dog that’s spoiled like shit at the moment. Dumb dog dumb animal.

Also HGTV channel is boring me with their marathon of “Flip or Flop” at the moment. I’m just bored to tears of the damn TV at the moment. Hence I was doing coin collecting into rolls out of boredom. This sucks big time when I miscalculated my coins. Ugh.

Also I’m aiming to get money for those coins from People’s bank instead of Northwestern’s bank. Northwestern has strict policy involving the coins being the proper size for rolled money. I don’t care for that shitty policy. I preferred People’s bank. They’ll take the rolled money without asking any questions and give you money. Northwestern is more insisted on meeting their rolled size or they won’t give money. Ugh don’t care for that anyway.

I made about eight dollars worth of rolled money. Yay me! Also I have a dollar and six cents left of money left. I figured I’ll ask for quarters for that amount and see how many I can get. Perhaps I can get a dollar’s worth of quarters followed by insisting on five cents for the pennies.

I wound up with the voice chattering earlier its familiar question and familiar wording. Ugh I think I had number two to go to. I wound up having that in the bathroom but it was such a small amount and not a whole load. This sucks big time when this got the voice going as a result. Yuck don’t care for this shitty problem. Ugh.

Also HGTV is going to marathon “Flip or Flop” till like either seven o’clock or eight o’clock is when they’ll show something else. I can’t wait anyway to see something else. It’s getting pretty boring with watching reruns all damn day and hardly outside walking around. I’m practically bored to tears actually. Ugh again.

I have a deaf social tomorrow in Massachusetts. Dad’s driving me starting at eleven o’clock in the morning. I aim to bring some books I’m in progress of reading including my e-reader.

I found the e-reader is slow charging itself up. I found this morning the battery was like in the forties or almost thirties almost dead status. It sucks big time when I had to charge that thing as a result.

I charged up the e-reader via TV’s plug in outlet and found that at four o’clock it was in the sixties percent for charged status. Ugh. I gave up onto having the TV’s plug in charge that e-reader instead I went to the kitchen’s outlet and plugged that thing in.

I figured with the e-reader plugged into the kitchen’s outlet it’ll be easier for that thing to be fully charged by tomorrow. I aim to leave that thing onto the kitchen’s counter for charging just so the wire to the charger is out of kitty’s paws.

Sam’s all over the place with her damn paws. Ugh nothing is sacred from her. Oh well.

Also I figured that the TV’s plug in with multiple plug outlets have caused the e-reader to be charged slowly instead of fast. Hence I am having that e-reader onto the kitchen’s outlet. Mostly the kitchen charger is to keep that thing out of Sam’s paws from playing with the wire to the charger and shocking herself. She thinks the wire is a toy and tries to play with it. Dumb cat dumb animal.

Mom should be off work soon at six o’clock. I can’t wait to text email her for phoning tonight. I think I’ve got an hour till seven o’clock is when I’ll have to pay attention to my damn cell phone. Ugh it takes mom an hour to leave work to her home. Yuck. I don’t like that friendship with my damn cell phone anyway while waiting forever for a text email from mom for phoning. Ugh.

Also I’m suffering from a noisy head at the moment. The noises sounds like loud tinnitus that I can barely hear myself think properly. Ugh really annoying!

Plus I’m anxious to view the local news on NBC for their weather report for tomorrow. I do hope this shitty rain quits for awhile and shows some nice sunlight weather. I wouldn’t mind if the weather is nice and warm and sunny.

The sunlight or lack of it today caused me to stay home with the cutest cat ever snoozing onto my lap. She acted like a hot water bottle with fur onto my thighs and warmed me up. Cutie is so cute when’s she’s on my lap fallen asleep.

Aw love that little munchkin galore and love to slobber kisses onto her including hugging her a lot for long times. So cute!

Rats NBC was preempted for the Kentucky Derby. Boring to watch horses being raced galore yucky sport. Don’t care for it anyway. I wound up going to CBS as a result just to watch some news including the weather report. Ugh.

Also I’m sure that the Kentucky Derby is going to be wasting time before the actual race of the horses. Ugh they’ll probably do backgrounds onto some people and horses to waste time then actually do the race. Yuck don’t care for that damned race anyway. Just don’t care for horses very much.

I preferred cats to horses or those mongrels the dog. I prefer to hug my kitty and slobber her with kisses. I don’t find that hugging a horse is good or same for a dog. Some dogs don’t like being hugged so I don’t bother with having a dog for hugging galore. Hence I preferred to pretty much have a cat to pickup and hug and slobber nice kisses onto them.

Cats are always seemingly tolerant of being picked up and hugged like I get from my kitty Samantha herself. She’s so tolerant of my hug fests and kisses. I like that involving a cat is tolerance of a hug and kiss. It’s what I’m looking for from cats. Aw.

Also I’m looking for my next cat after Sam decides she doesn’t want to live anymore be a cat that’s tolerant of being picked up and hugged galore including kissed too. Something I like from Sam the cutest cat ever. I like to find that tolerance from future cats in the future. I don’t particularly care for cats who hate that picked up status and kisses. I preferred a cat who’ll tolerate the picked up and kisses galore.

Baby cute kitten’s been on the couch snoozing galore since I’ve booted her off my lap. I guess she’s lazy today. She’s been sleeping a lot today. Mostly on my lap and on the couch is where’s she’s been sleeping. Ugh cute kitty but I hate to mention that she’s shouldn’t be lazy but more actively running around playing instead. Oh well.

Also I’m sure that her age of double digits of ten years old this summer is making her lazier. Ugh hence her energy isn’t much lately. It sucks big time when I’ll outlive the cutest cat ever. I do hope I have her for longer than ten years. It’s going on seven years since April this year when I first took her cuteness into my home. Aw cute.

Plus the voice has been chattering lately today hence I hitting the bathroom for number two efforts. I noticed when I’m about to do number two is when the voice talks. Ugh hence I keep on hitting the toilet for number two in hopes of silence the voice’s talking. Yuck don’t care for that shitty talking anyway. Ugh.

Today’s Mother’s Day. Yay holiday anyway. Ugh not spending today with mom. She’s at work while I’m to spend time in Massachusetts having a deaf social. Ugh sucks big time anyway.

Also I’ll have to make sure I bring the three books I’m in progress of reading to the car ride to the deaf social.

I aim to read and finish J.R. Ward’s book “The Beast.” Unfortunately I’m not sure when I’ll be done with that book. Ugh here’s to hoping I can get myself two thirds through that book today via car ride. Ugh again.

I’m halfway through “Written in Red” by Anne Bishop. I’m hoping to be two thirds through that damned book by the time the day is over with. Ugh.

I might be focused onto reading Ward’s book than Bishop’s book. Ward’s book is due on Wednesday while Bishop’s book is due in another week. Ugh. I’m aiming to read and finish Ward’s book before Wednesday comes up. I can’t wait anyway.

Humph Ward’s book is a seven day loaner something I’ve checked out, out of wanting to read and finish a book fast. So I checked that book out. I’m already halfway or around that part in that book. I noticed “The Beast” is not so lengthy like “The Shadows.” Instead the book is sort on the short side but still a bit on the lengthy side. Well nice.

“The Beast’s” got five hundred pages from what I checked on the number. Well over that number actually by eight pages. Ugh. Also I’m nearly into the two hundreds number. I think I need a few more pages then I’ll be into the two hundreds in that book. I can’t wait anyway to finally finish that damn book. Ugh.

I’m currently reading one of my own books a diary by Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. I’ve barely made a dent into that book at the moment. I’m just trying to read more of that book but I’ve been distracted with the library books I’m reading. I’m trying to finish the library books I’ve got on hand before their due date deadlines. Ugh oh well.

I snatched the baby kitten for a hug and some kisses. She kissed me in response but tolerated the hug I gave her cuteness. She’s so tolerant of those hugs and kisses I give her. That’s something I like from a baby bundle of fur a cat. Aw.

Speaking of the baby cute kitten she’s on the couch grooming herself. Aw so cute. Love that little munchkin galore. She’s so cute. Baby cutie’s gone to the couch to snooze. She’s sure looks cute when she’s curled up onto the couch. Aw cutie’s just snoozing galore. What a cute kitten.

Anyway I had a weird dream involving one character from my Edenia series discussing books. I dreamed of Yevengina Visser as her name discussing books with someone. A guy who made me thinks he was a vampire or something like that and trying to keep Yevengina safe from others. Ugh just don’t know what’s the point of that damn dream anyway.

Plus Sam was pawing me galore in my sleep. She wanted food for her food bowl which I woke up around the six o’clock hour to feed her then tried to sleep some more. I couldn’t get REM sleep as a result. Instead I wound up talking to myself till I felt fed up and got up.

Ugh dumb cat dumb animal. I swear Sam’s is so annoyingly rude. Humph!

Humph even rude is Maureen is online Facebook posting crap but not inclined to talk to me. Ugh I hate it when my cell phone goes off from her posts. Really annoying!

I wound up sick in the bathroom with number two. Not much of that shitty problem but it was an enough to get the voice going. Ugh. Hence I onto computer typing this down out of needing something to get my mind off the inner noises. Yuck.

I wound up out with dad to a deaf social in Massachusetts in the town of Amherst in Atkins’ Farm grocery store. I had three cookies while there.

Anyway I was the first to arrive so I sat and ate. Michael I guess who’s he is arrived.

We discussed Harry Potter including books we’re reading. I showed the library’s copy of “The Beast” by J.R. Ward to him which he was fine with that. He mentioned an author’s name of Pierre Anthony. Not too sure I’ve heard of him anyway. Oh well but this Pierre writes science fiction sounds good to me.

After that Kelly arrive then Toni and Stephany from a local college. Both girls Toni and Stephany were very smiley and laughing a lot as they learned sign language while discussing stuff with Michael and I. It was entertaining anyway.

Then around 2 p.m. the group meeting broke up and then I went to hunt for dad. I found him eating a salad in an outdoor eatery. He had ice cream which I had some too. Then after that was a drive in the sunlight.

The sun came out as a result and shined nicely. It was rather windy outside as a result. Oh well.

Anyway dad drove to Greenfield to Anne’s apartment which was in a house in a multiple family house. Nice. I saw Jericho after awhile of not seeing that dog. He looked cuter with his fur shaved and much pet able. I was petting him galore. He’s nice and tolerant of the petting.

Anyway dad and Anne and I had a nice talk in Anne’s living room. I wanted to read more of the library book but dad balked letting me. Ugh.

After that was a walk around the neighborhood for Jericho to go to the bathroom. I wound up with the voice talking and paranoia aggravated as a result. I think it was hunger talking as a result of me attacked by the voice. Yuck I forced myself to sit down reading “The Beast” for awhile after taking my pill. Ugh.

Dad and Anne and I went to an Indian restaurant where we ate food. I tried their foods and found them spicy enough to cause lots of water drinking. Ugh. Also ate close to eight o’clock or a bit before that time. Ugh the cooking of food took forever anyway. Oh well.

Also after the eating we went to Anne’s house where dad and I bid her goodbye. I wound up in the car reading “The Beast” by e-reader copy I had on hand. I managed to finish J.R. Ward’s book during the car ride. Yay me!

After that I started another e-book because I wasn’t yet home so I started “The Assassin’s Blade” again. “The Assassin’s Blade” is a book I didn’t finish I had on e-reader so I read what I left off but didn’t finish that book when I got home.

I insisted to dad to drop off both copies of J.R. Ward’s works “The Beast” and “The Bourbon Kings” at the town library. He agreed and put those books on his front seat as I left the car.

I got home and wound up TV watching HGTV for an hour or so then around 11:30 p.m. during their shitty “House Hunters” themed show I wound up going into my bedroom to sit and read a book. I read for like thirty minutes the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. I found that book pretty well good and positive to read before bed so I did that. Then after that I fell into bed around midnight and slept till like 9:30 a.m. in the morning or around that time frame. Ugh.

I somewhat felt cute baby kitten cuddling me in my sleep but I’m not entirely sure of that. Anyway cutesy cat was on the couch this morning when I checked onto her cuteness. She’s rather cute when she’s curled up on the couch. Aw.

I wound up with a nurse’s visit this morning. Ooh goodie. I saw her. She checked my vitals fine. Anyway after the nurse’s visit we made a time frame of Monday at 11:30 a.m. for next week. It sounds good to me anyway.

After nurse’s visit I text emailed dad to take me out to grocery shopping. He gave me a time of 2 p.m. but couldn’t make up his mind. Ugh he was late as thirty minutes despite already text emailing me that he’ll be late. Humph!

Dad arrived early about five minutes early which I went to the car hauling my grocery bags. I found the two books I asked him to drop off in his car instead of dropped off like I asked him to do. I had to tell him to drive me to the town library so I could do that damned drop off. Ugh.

I dropped off both books by J.R. Ward. One is book fourteenth of her “Black Dagger Brotherhood” series while the other is book one of her newest series “The Bourbon Kings.” I like them both but I’m not entirely sure of where’s she’s going with the vampires’ series anyway. Ugh sucks big time.

After that was grocery shopping where I bought fruit like bananas three stalks and strawberries in a plastic tin which I had for dinner. I had the strawberries for dinner. It’s tasty stuff yummy in the tummy.

I got home and wound up eating a candy bar because I habitually eat after I grocery shop. It sucks big time when I do that shitty eating of food. Oh well.

After the eating Maureen text emailed me via Facebook which I talked to her till like five thirty is when we quit talking. I wound up eating dinner as a result. I had cheese and strawberries. The food’s tasty anyway.

Baby cutie came by for demanding food into her food bowl. I fed her royal highness food which she happily ate then thanked me by letting me pet her. I put her cuteness onto my lap for petting which she marked my chair and accepted me scratching her back.

Aw cute love that little munchkin galore. She’s so cute when she tummy sits cutely. She’s currently tummy sitting onto the floor at the moment. Aw cute.

I’ve meant to go focus onto the TV for NBC’s show “Blindspot” tonight but I’m just in the mood to type my thoughts down so I’m doing that now. Ugh.

HGTV is airing “Tiny House Big Living” episodes on TV. Nice show. I live in a tiny home at the moment. I’m not so sure of how many square feet my home has. I think the home is tiny as it can be but cluttered with books and shitty junk like that. Ugh again.

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My week in a nutshell

May. 6th, 2016 | 08:21 am
mood: aggravatedaggravated

Maureen posted stuff online Facebook but didn’t bother to read my text email message I sent her last night. Really Maureen! Also Janet sent me two sentences text emails to me and nothing much this morning. Ugh Janet!

I hate it when Maureen does ignorance towards me and my text emails. Plus I hate it when Janet isn’t very talkative via her replies to my text emails. Both are terrible big time when it comes to my text emails when I expect replies and readings.

Also I tried to read muse talk in hopes of editing it but I wasn’t in the mood to edit “Eric Reborn” that story I’m working on at the moment. I didn’t feel like working onto other stories either so I put away my disk wound up online fooling around.

I tossed out the garbage. I noticed the can was full so I did that. Anything to get outside walking a bit but that helped me feel a bit better. Problem is soon after I did that I felt depressed again.

Also wanted to go onto the computer but Sam got onto my lap to tummy sit for a bit. She emptied her food bowl but didn’t remind me to feed her. Dumb cat dumb animal. I kept on expecting her to remind me to feed her but she didn’t bother so I fed her without her prompting me to do it. Ugh she stuffed her face as a result. Cute I guess.

Also I keep on hitting the toilet for small amounts of number two every damn hour. Yuck. I don’t like that pain and making it hard to sit down. The bathroom sickness is making it hard to avoid the inner noises in my head too ugh.

The bathroom number two is making me feel depressed today. I just don’t like this depression cases brought on by the bathroom number two. The depression sucks big time.

I dialed mom at six o’clock or a few minutes after that time. The operator refused to cooperate with me. The operator refused to give me mom’s answering machine message including any signs involving leaving my whining message onto mom’s answering machine.
I whined “Its Beth its 6p.m. pickup phone when I call you or text email me!”
I swear that operator balked doing that message leaving or bothered to phone mom hence the balking to tell me the answering machine’s message. Really rude!

I had to send mom a text email to her cell phone whining “Its Beth its 6pm pickup phone when I call you! Or text email me mews phone wise tonight!”
Humph! I swear that mom worked overtime as a result of that phone ignorance onto me. Or either that or the operator refused to connect me with mom and played games with me. Really rude crude Gertrude of the operator!

NBC news was preempted for hockey. I hate CBS world news. Don’t care for Scott Pelley anyway. I don’t care for CBS’s world news or their local news either. Yuck. I’m stuck watching HGTV channel marathon of “Property Brothers” which is showing a rerun boring me! I figured I’ll settle for CBS’s world news then their local news. Ugh sucks big time.

Ugh. Not happy about that fact that mom isn’t willing to cooperate with a text email ASAP. Or the operator refused to cooperate connecting me with mom. Really annoying! Really rude of both mom and the operator! Mom text finally!

Mom was very rude to me on the phone. She was distracted by the TV. She mostly was watching some hour long TV show on TV than paying attention to me via phone. Mom was one rude crude Gertrude to me on the phone.
Also around 7:30 p.m. mom started whining of wanting to end call which I out of disgust said my message “Love you lots Momsy bye.”
I hung up without seeing if the message I sent was received out of disgust with mom and her phone manners. I found her really rude! After that was done I wound up onto the computer whining about this rudeness onto here. Ugh.

I also wound up turning the TV onto HGTV to binge watch tonight till like 11 p.m. is when I’ll quit the TV for bed. Ugh again. HGTV is still marathoning “Property Brothers” on their channel. I think at 8 p.m. is when they’ll show something new like those thirty minute house hunting shows. Ugh boring me to tears actually.

I’m not entirely sure of what to do tonight. I’m more inclined to type my thoughts down than read a damn book. This lack of book reading sucks. I’ve got almost over two weeks to finish reading “Written in Red” by Anne Bishop. I’ve managed to get one fourth through that book but I’m still not even halfway through that library book.

Ugh sucks big time when I’m trying to finish some library books but don’t have the motivation to finish them. It sucks.

I gave up onto the internet talking to Maureen so I went onto cell phone to continue that chat. I hate the internet involving Facebook. The pictures online there bother me occasionally so I go onto cell phone as a result. Ugh.

Monday's Mews. I love Mondays! It means I don’t have to put up with depression brought by weekends. Yuck this sucks big time anyway. Ugh.

I crashed around 10:45 p.m. with my paranoia slightly aggravated and a noisy head. It sucked big time when the voice talked last night during me staring at the computer. I assumed that talking was involving too much computer staring as a result. Ugh. Hence I hearing that inner noises I wound up watching TV for thirty minutes till I realized the HGTV channel was airing reruns so I crashed into bed. Ugh.

I woke up around 4 a.m. in the morning by urges to pee. Plus Sam got onto my front and had a lick fest onto my face. Ugh. She aggravated my bladder as a result so I got up and went then crashed into bed. I slept fine till like 8 a.m. is when I woke up.

I wound up finding the cutest cat ever cuddling me. She was busy grooming herself so I waited for her to be done with that before putting her onto my front for tummy time. Cutie was tolerant of that because she licked my face then got off. Aw cute!
“Be my paw girl.” I sang to the cutest cat ever.
She was on my lap. She got onto the armchair then got onto my lap. I petted her cuteness galore and sang my line mentally instead of verbalized. I wasn’t in the mood to verbalize my line. So I mentally sang it. Cute baby kitten accepted my petting but got off my lap and ran elsewhere. Aw cute!

I thought of some ideas involving one character’s story Jinks Montreal involving Brandis, the Record Keeper. It’s just an idea involving furthering that series “War of Mars.” Ugh just something to do anyway. Oh well. Just my luck that story won’t sell or something like the series “I am Lance Richard, Deity Lord.” I keep on hoping that series would sell but its not. It sucks big time when the series isn’t selling as I hoped. Ugh really annoying!

Also I swear the public expects my stories to be free instead of paying me money for them. The public sucks big time when they want free stories from me instead of buying my stories like I hoped they would do. Ugh not happy about that shit at all.

Nurse arrived and checked my vitals. Well nice. I wound up sick in the bathroom processing number two during nurse’s visit. She spent time fiddling via laptop computer as a result. Ugh also Sam hid as a result. Poor kitty didn’t feel like showing herself to the nurse. Hence she is hiding at the moment. Cutie must be hiding underneath my damn bed as usual. Dumb cat dumb animal. Ugh speaking of the dumbbell I spotted her hanging around in sight for the nurse to pet. Cute baby kitten is so cute.

Baby cute kitten is so cute when she’s snatched up for a nice hug fest including given kisses galore. She’s so tolerant of those kisses and hugs I give her cuteness. I love that involving a cutesy cat tolerant of hugs and kisses including looking at me with her wide eyes of innocence. Aw cute!

Nurse left to my relief. She gave me three bucks for a book she paid ten bucks for. She originally gave me seven dollars I spent onto junk. So she was meaning to give me three dollars and finally did that. Yay at least that’s good! Anyway baby cutie hung around in sight sitting on the floor tummy sat style and showed herself to the nurse. Aw cute. She even went to hide when the nurse walked by her. I guess she wasn’t in the mood for petting by the nurse. Poor baby cutie aw!

Speaking of the baby cutie she’s crouched onto the floor at the moment and looking so cute! I love that bundle fondle of fur too much. She’s so cute when petted and slobbered with kisses including given hug fests too. I love it when she’s so tolerant of those hugs and kisses. She’s cute when hugged and cute when kissed too. Love that munchkin galore. I snatched her up for a quick hug then kissed the top of her head after she got out of my arms. What a cute kitty. I love that little munchkin. I love to kiss her on the snout including on top of her head. She’s so tolerant of that kisses I give her. Aw what a cutie.

Ugh anxious to pay my bills but the government is still balking on depositing my monthly deposit like I hoped they would. I figured perhaps tomorrow is when they’ll do that damned deposit. I can’t wait anyway.

I’ve got a phone bill from my cell phone’s company I’m dying to pay ASAP but the monthly deposit isn’t being depositing yet. Really annoying when I have to wait forever for my monthly deposit into my bank account so I could pay some bills. Ugh not happy about that waiting forever. Yuck!

Also it’s the same old story every month that I hope to save some money into my bank account. Mostly I save enough money to pay a vet bill for Sam’s allergies. She seems to have allergies again. Ugh. It’ll meant vacuuming some more including dusting some more including opening windows. Poor baby cutie is having allergies from all that dust stirring around here from Saturday’s sorting. Poor kitten.

I had a checkbook app onto my cell phone but that app kept on giving me urges to spend money online so I cut that app. Oh I don’t have that app on my cell phone anymore. All I have is my computer for checkbook records. At least I’ll get my typing urges done and down with when I feel like typing something. Nice. Also it’s rather nice to keep a record of my checkbook onto my computer out of needing to type something down so I figured it shouldn’t be a problem to do that. Yay me!

I text emailed mom via cell phone a message “Its Beth its 530pm home awaiting word phone wise tonight so text email me mews.”
Now I have to sit around with a noisy head waiting forever for mom to text email me a phone request. I do hope the damned weather isn’t a problem for her to text email me as soon as possible. Ugh.

I text emailed dad “Hopefully your day was a good one despite the weather.”
Ugh just waiting for his response. I doubt he would reply very much to that comment anyway.

Keith sent me a text email this morning “Morning how was ur weekend”
I said “Sorting out junk for goodwill made six bags for donation.”
He said “Cool sounds like u were busy”

Dad replied with a commentary that made me feel sad “It’s just rain! I keep telling you that. I’m tired of repeating myself. If you don’t like rain, move to the Southwest with your Mom.”
His replies to my commentary always make me depressed and sad occasionally. His replies tend to make me no longer feeling good but more depressed. Dad sucks big time when he does sarcasm with his replies. Ugh really dad!

“It’s annoying me when you balk messages ASAP for phone tonight! Makes me worry about you!” my whining text email to mom’s cell phone.
I tried to phone her at seven o’clock but the operator was rude refused to cooperate leaving my message onto mom’s answering machine. Also the operator claimed to reach seven rings then a disconnection signal involving voicemail. The operator didn’t impress me at all. I wound up telling that jerk to dial again which he claimed to leave my message onto mom’s answering machine. I’m not wasting my breath in that claiming. I think that operator played games onto me again. It’s the same for my excuse of a mother not picking up at seven o’clock to whine of something. Really mom!

Plus mom’s lack of replying to my text email pleas have me annoyed with her. The lack of responses to my pleas tonight isn’t doing anything for my mood or anything to avoid being friends with my damn cell phone. This is stressing me out as a result. I don’t care for this damned stress out status as long as miss phone ignorance bothers to text emails me as soon as possible. Ugh.

I wound up with the voice talking a bit earlier. I was hoping on getting the phoning over with tonight so I can relax with the TV watching NBC’s “Blindspot.” I don’t need this stressed out status of unable to relax tonight when Mom’s playing phone ignorance games onto me. I don’t need this shit at all.
“I kind of wish mom would bother to text email me tonight.” My thought while I was in the bathroom whining and glaring at the cell phone for mom’s text email.
It’s so annoying when mom plays phone ignorance games onto me tonight. Really rude of mom to do that game onto me!

Plus the tinnitus is noisy tonight from my repeated bathroom trips for number two. I already washed my water bottle as a result of that and washed my damn face too. I’m just hoping I can avoid an attack of schizophrenia tonight so I can stay up watching “Blindspot” on NBC.

Today’s Monday which means on CBS is “Supergirl” series but they went into a hiatus or season finale. I have no idea what’s going on with that TV series. It’s always stressful watching “Supergirl” on CBS because of how noisy it gets into my head. Ugh plus stressful on having to watch an episode without worrying about missing it due to mom’s text emailing me. Ugh. I missed several episodes of “Supergirl” so I have no idea what’s the storyline is about. Ugh have no idea what’s going on with the storyline or the show’s theme. Ugh again.

I swear that if I want a “Supergirl” fix I’ll have to watch “Smallville” DVDs instead. I’m currently on season seven in “Smallville” at the moment. I’ve been meaning to view the rest of the series via DVDs on my computer but I haven’t bothered yet. Ugh sucks big time.

I received my cable bill in the mail. I went to the mailbox and found my cable bill in there. Ugh the bill is still expensively over one hundred and fifty dollars a month. Ugh. Also I can’t pay my cable bill today or tonight because I don’t have enough money into my bank account to pay for it.

I was hoping on paying for other bills like my cell phone bill that’s due May twelfth but the monthly deposit hasn’t come in yet. It’s aggravating me when the monthly deposit isn’t depositing when I expect it to do. Ugh. That lack of depositing meant that the third of May is when I’m sure I’ll get my money.

Also I’m sure that the monthly deposit will be done at midnight or at a bank’s hour time frame of whatever time it is. I’m not entirely sure of when the monthly deposit gets deposited. I do think the depositing is at midnight on the third or a few minutes after that time. Not entirely sure of that Ugh.

Mom is being really rude to me tonight! I swear she lied to me via phone this morning about phoning me tonight. I keep on text emailing her and phoning her but so far I’ve received nothing but ignorance from my excuse of a mother. I do wish she would bother to text email me when I expect her to do it. I don’t like this ignorance games she’s playing onto me tonight. Really rude!

In ten minutes it’ll be the third of May now. I can’t wait for bed. I wound up text emailed by mom who made phone call short as thirty minutes. Ugh. Also she whined of wanting to view “The Voice” then bed. Ugh pity I guess. Humph!

After that was done I viewed “Blindspot” on at ten o’clock on NBC. I wound up quite a bit stressed out a bit because I wanted to view that NBC’s program but I had to view a bit of HGTV channel’s little house show first then the NBC program. Ugh.

I finally got my monthly deposit. I paid my cable bill then I paid my cell phone bill. I also put some money into Pay Pal. Ugh I think the Pay Pal money will take forever to get into the Pay Pal’s account. They always take forever to get from my bank account into Pay Pal. This sucks big time ugh.

After that I wound up hit with an attack of schizophrenia last night. I tried to sleep it off but couldn’t snooze so I went onto the computer willing myself to get the inner noises to blow off. Ugh sucks big time.

Anyway the inner noises blew off as a result of me being on the computer but I think the paranoia was slightly aggravated. Anyway I wound up staying up close to midnight typing onto the computer is when I went to bed. I didn’t bother to check online and see if my bank account had my monthly deposit. I wasn’t in the mood to bother anyway.

I crashed into bed and slept till like 5:30 a.m. woken up by urges to pee. It sucked big time when I wound up lying in bed for like fifteen minutes with the sunlight shining dimly. Ugh. I think I set my alarm clock for 8:30 a.m. so I could get up and start my damn day. After that I slept fine on my side instead of on my back. Ugh.

Baby cutie cuddled me in the morning. Aw so cute! Love that little munchkin. I petted her galore from bed then after my shower I snatched her up for a nice hug fest. She was squirming in my arms and licked my nose. Aw so cute love that bundle of fur too much to slobber kisses onto her. Aw.

I snatched the baby kitten up for a hug and kisses once I got home. She was tolerant of that gave me kisses then got out of my arms. Aw so cute!

I wound up contacting Maureen via cell phone. She told me of Eddie coming to pick me up around noon which he arrived. We went to McGrane’s to eat lunch. I had the hot dog and fries and chocolate milk. Tasty stuff anyway.

After lunch which Maureen paid, Eddie drove me home. At home I wound up with the voice chattering its familiar question involving forgetting something. Really annoying!

My paranoia was a bit aggravated but I went onto the computer to fool around while having the TV on blaring HGTV channel’s “Fixer Upper.” Interesting show “Fixer Upper” anyway I like watching that the show’s great fun.

Also I’m freezing cold too. I don’t even know what brought on the chills. The chills suck big time. Ugh.

Eddie was supposed to come today for kitchen cleaning but his shoulder was bothering him so he didn’t come. Ugh he did come for picking me up for a ride to McGrane’s. Nice I guess to get that ride including that ride home. Yay me!

Also wound up doing laundry in the laundry room. I forgot to get my jeans and sweater washed. Nuts big time. Plus I figured I’ll wait till next week to bother to get them both washed and dried. I’m to attend a picnic on Friday with Maureen and whoever there. I aim to wear those clothes to the picnic at a state forest. It shouldn’t be a problem for me anyway to get those clothes washed next time I’m done wearing them.

I just think mom didn’t return “The Bourbon Kings” by J.R. Ward to the town library when I finished that book. Instead I think she kept the book on hand and read it instead of that dropping off. Ugh I’m going to get a library fine as a result. If I do have a fine then Mom owes me money to pay for it. Ugh.

Humph done with laundry today. Yay me but the landlord had someone painting in a hallway so I used the outside entrance to and from the laundry room. Ugh sucks big time anyway.

Also so far I’ve gotten is loud tinnitus today. I swear the foods I’ve eaten are causing the tinnitus to sing pretty loudly. Ugh I don’t particularly care for this noisy problem. I don’t want to have loud tinnitus enough to think it’ll turn into an attack of schizophrenia.

Ugh. Plus I’m to expect Maureen and Jenna tonight around the five o’clock hour for crafts. I’m just not looking forwards to missing phoning with mom as a result of crafts with either one of them. Ugh really annoying!

Maureen is the type of person I can’t say no to. She expects a yes answer to everything than anything no answer to anything. Ugh I can barely say no to her involving some stuff. Ugh really the pits anyway Humph!

I should have stayed up till 11 p.m. but I was tired so I crashed at 10:30 p.m. I wound up waking up around 4:30 a.m. in the morning with a hot flash and urge to pee in the toilet. Ugh I woke up and went but tried to sleep some more but couldn’t. Ugh.

Also Sam threw up onto my bed as a result. I’m sure that stuff is a hairball she threw up and not poop diarrhea. Ugh poor kitty got the closet door open. I found her on the couch snoozing away. Cutie looks fine to me but she’s just sleeping. Aw cute!

Also I’ve meant to clean out the Dumperium, Sam’s bathroom. I think the kitty litter is dirty enough to require cleaning and replacing. It’s about time I did that cleaning out shit anyway. Ugh.

Baby cutie looks cute curled up on the couch. What a cute kitten she is. Aw. Love that little munchkin galore.

I snatched up the cutest cat for a hug fest. She was tolerant and hugged me back. After that she started squirming to be put down. Poor cute baby kitten had to put up with my hugs requests. Aw so cute.

I found a website for gymnast Dominique Moceanu that includes autographed books. I’ll have to buy a prepaid credit card and use that to pay for the book I want from Dominique autographed. Ugh sucks big time when I figured that herself autographing the book is better than buying one from eBay. Oh well.

Baby cute kitten is sitting nearby me grooming. She looks cute when she butts sits. What a cutie aw. Love that bundle of fur too much to slobber kisses onto her including giving her lots of hugs. Aw. Baby kitten did a little rolling around followed by a grooming. She’s so cute enough to be picked up into a nice hug and given kisses. Love that cat!

I aim to order that signed book from Dominique Moceanu’s website when I get the card to do it. I just like to have a signed book made out to me in words I want. I figured I’ll just buy that card then order that damn book. Ugh should be better than the signed junk off eBay. Ugh.

I checked online my bank account. My cable bill is paid. Yay!

I’m still waiting for some money to be transferred to Pay Pal. I used what’s left of last month’s money into Pay Pal. I’m hoping on using money saved into Pay Pal for buying subscriptions to Fantasy and Science Fiction magazine. It’ll be nice to save that money for it via Pay Pal.

Also I was hoping on saving some money into Pay Pal like hiding it there. It’s something like that fact that I can’t have much money into my savings and checking accounts or I’ll lose my benefits. Ugh hence my transfer to Pay Pal to hide that money for me.

I don’t even know if that transferring is a good idea or not. I figured I’ll take the money out of my bank account when I get the chance and stuff it into my book safe. It’ll be much better than that transfer to Pay Pal idea. Ugh.

I figured that the transfer to Pay Pal idea will be for subscriptions to that magazine I bought off Pay Pal once. I figured I’ll put some money into Pay Pal and used that for buying e-books and a renewal subscription to a magazine. Ugh don’t know if that’s proper or not but I don’t have a card for payments. It’s sucks big time.

I put fifty dollars into Pay Pal for covering the magazine Fantasy and Science Fiction’s subscription I can renew and pay when the subscription comes up again. I used Pay Pal to buy a subscription to that magazine so I figured I’ll leave the fifty bucks into Pay Pal to cover for that subscription since I don’t have the damn card for it.

Also I was meaning on putting some money into my savings’ account but I’m not entirely sure of how much I should bother with that money saving. It sucks big time like I said when I’m not even sure of the money amount anyway. Ugh.

Ugh haven’t gotten my electricity bill yet. I was hoping on paying for that but I’m not entirely sure when that bill will come into the mail. Ugh it’ll meant paying for that bill via the sixth of May. Oh well it stinks anyway. Humph!

I’m trying to save money into my book safe and bank account. I’m just hoping I don’t save too much money in my bank account to the point of losing my benefits. Also I was hoping on saving some money into my book safe for emergencies later. Like Sam needing to be at the vet hospital for an emergency appointment including me needing to spend money for stuff. It sucks.

Also I need to go out to CVS and buy more cat food including pill picking up too and buying more bath soap. I only have some cat food left but not enough. I only have one bar of soap left to use before I’m fresh out.

How much money I should put into my savings anyway?! Ugh damn I hate it when I’m not even sure of that question. It was tempting to put three hundred dollars into savings but I have yet to pay my electricity bill so I can’t do that. Ugh.

Also I checked online and found that my cell phone bill has yet to be paid or deducted from my bank account so I can’t do that either. I have to wait till both bills are paid first then I’ll put money into savings. Ugh again.

Plus I’ll have to withdraw some money from the bank and stuff it into my wallet for spending money. It’s sort of like one hundred dollars for spending money into my wallet. Ugh not what I had in mind anyway. I pretty much preferred sixty bucks instead. I might as well withdraw that amount when I go to the bank whenever free for that. Oh well.

Ugh Eddie arrived into here around the ten o’clock hour. Sam was on my lap and got off indicating a visitor so I peeked out the window and saw Eddie’s car in the lot. I let him inside. He cleaned the kitchen while I vacuumed around here. Ugh.

Also wound up text emailing dad to take me out to lunch and errands. He gave me a time of noon for that. Eddie finished around 11:30 a.m. so I didn’t have a lengthy time frame to wait for dad. After dad arrived I went via car to McGrane’s. I wound up ordering the same meal I had yesterday a hot dog with a bun and fries including chocolate milk.

I think I wound up sick today with something involving number two. I was sick in the bathroom with number two after Eddie left before dad arrived. Ugh aggravated me and the voice actually. I kept on hoping the voice would go away so I ate some pudding in my refrigerator to help combat that noise involving me hungry. Ugh I ate as simple as that.

After McGrane’s I went to town library and checked out a seven day loaner of an already have e-book version of a book via paper or hardcover. “The Beast” the latest book in “The Black Dagger Brotherhood Series.” Ugh I’m hoping that book is better than the terrible previous book “The Shadows.” I wasn’t impressed with “The Shadows” anyway. It didn’t stop me from buying “The Shadows” for my collection.

Ugh anyway after town library was to CVS where I picked up a prescription of Saphris pills. I didn’t buy anything else from there instead went to the car.

Dad drove me to Stop and Shop where I got the much needed items on my list involving cat food and soap for bathing. I got them both plus monies for my wallet to use as spending money. I took out sixty bucks actually from my bank account. I could have gone with one hundred dollars but I wasn’t sure of the bills getting paid or not. Oh well.

Anyway I wound up going home where I wound up sick in the bathroom and hot with a hot flash enough to trigger the voice to blare and trigger my paranoia off the charts. I could have read a book like Ward’s book but I didn’t bother because I hardly read anything when I’m sick with that attack instead I’m on the computer reading muse talk.

Ugh. I read muse talk for a bit but not too lengthy despite the blaring voice. It sucked big time when the voice scared me into thinking it’ll last for the rest of the damn day hence I reading muse talk for editing purposes. I only read a few pages of muse talk till I felt like going online which I did.

I wound up receiving my electricity bill today but the paperwork doesn’t indicate they received my eighty bucks for payment plan as scheduled from last month. I don’t get it at all. I just don’t. I aim to when I get the chance have someone explain this damn bill to me. I don’t get the bill’s point of not receiving my eighty bucks. Ugh sucks big time!

I swear I’m not on a matching payment plan at the moment hence the bill’s refusal to show that I paid last month’s bill. Also I’m not entirely sure of what to make of that. I aim to show that paperwork to dad and see what he says involving it. Ugh!

Also I wound up sick in the bathroom with heavy number two. I just am not sure if the food I’ve eaten the previous day is making me sick today. Mostly I sick with the bathroom cases and aggravating the voice to blare too much.

I’m tired just am. I’ve been up since 4:30 a.m. in the morning. I haven’t had much of a nap today. I did have a ten minute to fifteen minute nap when I was in bed this morning. Ugh not so sure if that nap did me any good or not oh well.

Also tried to snooze via lounger but I couldn’t sleep much or get myself to sleep a bit. This sucks big time when ten o’clock arrive I’m going to be terribly tired as heck. Ugh oh well.

My text email to mom at 6:10 p.m. “It’s Beth its 6pm home awaiting word phone wise so text emails me!”
Mom is being rude again. She’s balking on text emailing me as soon as possible like I expected her to do. Really annoying!

Plus I’ve been sick in the bathroom with number two today. I swear something I’ve eaten is making me sick. It sucks big time when I’ll have to start avoiding some of those foods I have in my refrigerator. As in pouring them out via sink and throwing them into the dumpster.

Ugh. Mom is so rude!

She’s balking on text emailing me like I expected her to do. I phoned her at 7:50 p.m. and received ignorance according to operator. I left a whining message onto her answering machine. It’s stressing me out and annoying me when she’s playing phone games onto me despite I expect her to text email me ASAP.

Ugh! I’m just not happy with miss phone ignorance my mother at the moment. I’m just annoyed and angry with this phone game mom plays onto me with her lack of replying to my pleas for a text email like I expect her to do. Really rude of mom to pull this behavior onto me! I just don’t expect this behavior tonight after mom claimed to me that she’ll talk to me further tonight via phone call this morning. Really mom! I swear she lied to me and used this weather as an excuse to avoid text emailing me as soon as I expect her to do it.
Hence my message “It’s Beth who’s annoyed! Can’t you bother to text email me despite weather no’s phoning tonight?!”

I know that the weather is stormy tonight. I want to know if mom would bother to text email me or not or bother to pickup the damn phone when I ring her up phone wise. I hate this phone ignorance games mom plays onto me. I hate them period! It annoys me to no end when mom is playing phone games onto me and annoying me too much! I’m so mad at her for this annoyance phone ignorance game onto me tonight! Can’t mother bother to text email me when I expect her to do it?!Jeez man! I swear this weather is reason why mom’s not text emailing me like I expect her to do.

Humph really aggravates me when this weather is nothing but crummy weather for a phone call. Ugh not happy about that at all. It sucks big time when this weather makes mom phone shy and phone ignorance onto me tonight. Really weather!

Also I checked out a seven day loaner “The Beast” by J.R. Ward latest book in her “Black Dagger Brotherhood” series. I was hoping on starting that book tonight or reading a bit of it just a chapter. Ugh might have to wait till tomorrow to do that reading then tonight. Ugh again.

I wanted to check out “Feverborn” by Karen Marie Moning but that book was a seven day loaner. Too much stress to read and finish two seven day loaners in one week. Yuck. Hence I didn’t check that out. Instead I checked out something else.

Plus I posted a comment to someone’s rant online Facebook. Now my cell phone is going off in response to people posting comments to that rant. Really don’t need this cell phone going off shit at all. Just annoying me!

Ugh plus I have the e-book version to “The Beast” on my e-reader. I find I don’t want to read that e-book or any e-book. I preferred pretty much to read paper versions of books instead. I’m not entirely sure why’s I’m more interested into paper copies. Oh well.

Baby cutie got onto my lap and sat purring her motorboat off. She received head rubs too. She was tolerant of the head rubs. So cute! Speaking of the baby cat she’s gone to the couch at the moment. Cutie did rub herself earlier onto my legs. I guess that was her way of hugging me. Cute! Poor baby cute kitten is so cute when cuddled into a hug fest and given lots of slobbering kisses. She’s so cute when hugged. She’s so cute when kissed. She’s so cute when she’s tolerant. Aw love that bundle of fur too much! She’s so cute! She’s so cute!
“Knees and toes” sang the schizophrenia in response to my “She’s so cute” liner.
Ugh don’t get it at all at what’s so special about knees and toes. Ugh no idea anyway.

Ugh had a somewhat busy day. I wound up woken up around six o’clock in the morning with a hot flash. Ugh had to get up and hit the toilet then laid in bed for awhile waiting for sweaty status to blow over. Yuck but it did so I slept for two hours as a result.

Baby cutie cuddled me this morning. Aw cute! It was rather nice waking up to the baby kitten cuddling me. I didn’t mind that. I liked that. I got up this morning around nine o’clock to find that mom text emailed me to phone her. Ugh.

I wound up on the phone with mom for thirty minutes while eating my food and drinking including taking my pills before the phone call. Ugh mom kept babbling on and on to my annoyance. Plus I was anxious to hit the toilet for number two and go shower too.

I think around nine thirty is when mom finally freed me from the phone which I hung up and showered warmly. Then after that I wound up fooling around with the TV and internet because the voice was chattering loudly.

Yuck I couldn’t focus onto the TV alone so I went to the computer while having the TV on their fourth hour of the Today show. Nice hour anyway.

After that I walked to McGrane’s trying to nose breathe and walk slowly. I was in a hurry to get there so I walked fast and mouth breathed. Ugh after I arrived there I sat around fooling around via cell phone. I didn’t really read that book I had brought along with me. This sucks big time when I didn’t bother to read that damn book. Oh well.

Lunch was fine. I saw dad arrive into there to eat lunch by himself. He acknowledged me but I didn’t eat with him. I ate with Maureen and Eddie as a result. I figured that’s fine with me anyway and fine with dad.

After lunch Dad drove me home. At home I read about fifty eight pages of this library book “The Beast” by J.R. Ward that’s a seven day loaner. Lucky I that book isn’t so thick so it’ll be finished fast when I get around to it.

Ugh after reading Ward’s book till like two o’clock Meredith’s talk show on TV I watched her show. Her show is rather interesting but I pretty much preferred her interviews to her segments of discussions with people. I don’t care for that area of her talk show. I preferred her interviews instead. Just do anyway.

Around three o’clock I wound up reading “Written in Red” by Anne Bishop. I read a great deal of that library book that I’m like halfway through it. Yay me!

Then around four o’clock I focused onto the TV watching Ellen’s show. She’s funny as always. I wound up eating food around five o’clock but it wasn’t much food. I wasn’t too hungry for food so I ate what I could eat. Ugh I mostly ate ice cream and some snacks around five o’clock including around seven o’clock. Ugh again.

Also Melissa arrived around 5:30 p.m. to help me sort. She wound up helping me get stuff for garbage from the boiler room. Then I did the things closet but I didn’t sort the whole thing. I omitted some stuff out of laziness and tiredness hitting me including exhaustion. Ugh sucks big time.

Anyway I finished that sorting for garbage around 5:45 p.m. so I wound up painting for awhile with Melissa doing some painting herself. I had to open the window as a result of the smell of paint getting to me. I swear the voice talks when there’s painting going on hence I have to open the windows. Ugh not what I had in mind anyway.

Also I opened windows then after that we painted. Melissa got given a magazine involving deaf people I thought she could read and use for her deaf studies class. So I gave that magazine to her. She didn’t mind that thing.

Then around seven o’clock we finished our painting which I saw Melissa out and wound up throwing out three bags worth of garbage. Some of that garbage were bananas that were expired and not good. This sucks big time when those bananas had to be tossed out. Ugh sucks big time for food anyway.

After that garbage duty was done I wound up inside the apartment getting phoning message onto my answering machine so I text emailed dad.
His phoning message ID was “Bad Idea Lab” instead of his name.
I really don’t know how he wound up exchanging his ID from his name to that name anyway. Ugh just don’t even know of that fact.

Also I’ve meant to toss out some foods I’ve got in my refrigerator sitting ignored for awhile. Ugh meant to clean out the kitchen of expired food but haven’t gotten around to that job yet. Ugh sucks big time.

I finally cleaned out the kitchen of expired foods in my refrigerator. I didn’t do my cupboards but I could have but didn’t. Oh well. At least the foods I have in my kitchen are current and well pretty much yet to expire. Yay me!

I wound up text emailed mom around the seven thirty time frame which she has ignored me so far. Ugh must be working overtime again. Really annoying!

“It’s Beth its 720pm home awaiting word phone wise so text email me mews.”
My message to mom’s cellular something I’m just annoyed with having to sit around waiting forever for a reply from her.

Ugh hate this endless waiting. It drives me crazy when mom doesn’t reply to my text emails ASAP or faster enough to satisfy me to know she’s home safe for the night.

Ooh forgot to add I wound up text emailing Maureen via Facebook Wednesday morning. Mom had the most inappropriate timing text emailed me to phone her at the time. I wound up chatting with Maureen via cell phone and mom via landline’s phone. Ugh drove me a bit stressed as a result despite sweaty a bit. Yuck terrible big time.

After that phoning with Maureen and mom I wound up watching the junk on TV. Ugh it’s the same old junk actually. I didn’t watch very much programs on TV other than the same old junk on NBC and on HGTV channel. Ugh again.

I’ve been meaning to read something book wise tonight but I’m not in the mood to bother. This afternoon I’ve read two books both from library for an hour each. Nice!

Anyway I’ve managed to read “The Beast” till I reached a chapter in the book and read about fifty eight pages. I figured I might as well keep on reading that library book. It shouldn’t be a problem anyway.

Also I’m not reading books tonight because I’m anxiously waiting a text email from mom for phoning tonight. Ugh not happy when I miss text emails from mom via cell phone when I’m reading books and ignoring the TV. Hence I am paying attention to my cell phone while I’m typing onto the computer my thoughts. Ugh sucks big time.

Plus I’m going to be up for hours. I’ve eaten food around the seven o’clock hour because I was itching to eat from all that sorting I did in front of Melissa. Plus Melissa stalled on leaving despite me pointing out the time of six thirty. She was more interested in painting birdhouses than leaving. Ugh really rude!

I think I’ll work on muse talk tonight. I’m dying to read something onto the computer than watch the junk on TV. The HGTV channel is showing reruns involving their show “Flip or Flop” than anything new. They’ve been rerunning for awhile. I don’t even know why their doing that rerunning is. The channel sucks big time.

Ugh wound up with the voice attacking me this morning mostly while I was in the bathroom doing number two. This sucks big time anyway. Hence I am typing my thoughts down as a result. Just something to do while I avoid doing more muse talk typing. Ugh.

I text emailed mom via cell phone saying “Its Beth its 8am I’m up so text email me mews.”
I’m just waiting for her reply. She’s working from ten o’clock in the morning to three o’clock in the afternoon. It shouldn’t be a problem for her to work overtime but I’m not entirely sure of how overtime she’ll work. The overtime is either in the morning or in the afternoon. Not sure ugh.

“Are you forgetting something?” I’m hearing from the voice over and over.
Sometimes the voice chants “Forgetting some.”
Ugh really annoying!

Baby cutie is so cute when hugged and kissed galore. I love that little bundle of fur too much to slobber kisses and hug fest her. She’s so tolerant of those hugs and kisses I throw her into. Aw cute.

I’ve got after paying my bills about one hundred dollars into my bank account. About fifty bucks went into savings while twin amount went into Pay Pal. I’m just depressed because I don’t have much money in my bank account to pay for frivolous things I want without losing one hundred dollars.

Ugh plus I was hoping on saving that money for Sam’s vet appointment. She’s still indicating she’s got allergies. Plus she keeps on scratching her ear heavily. I might have to use the forty five bucks in book safe for the bill including money from the bank for that. I think the bill is going to be one hundred and twenty dollars for the vet to figure out what’s going on with her. Ugh sucks big time.

Also I think it’s about time I vacuumed the apartment more often including doing more dusting too. This sucks big time when I’m not vacuuming much or dusting much. Ugh poor Sam has allergies from the lack of cleaning as a result. Aw poor kitty.

It makes me sad when mom doesn’t text email me as soon as possible like I expect her to do when she’s supposedly free for phoning. Ugh also depresses me when I don’t reach Maureen via Facebook for a chat. Sometimes I get depressed with I text email Janet something and she replies fast as she can. Ugh. Not what I had in mind anyway.

That's my week in a nutshell.

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April going out like a lamb

May. 1st, 2016 | 09:37 am
mood: tiredtired

Baby cute kitten got onto my lap Friday night. I was TV watching junk on HGTV at the time. I wound up not in the mood for “Love it or List it” series on TV as a result. Instead I read almost sixty pages of a library book “Written in Red” by Anne Bishop. The book is pretty good so far from what I’m reading. I’m enjoying that book. It seems nice.

I think close to ten o’clock is when I quit reading that library book and wound up focusing onto the TV instead. The TV was ok so far around the ten o’clock hour but bored me actually.


I had to view the HGTV channel as a result on at ten o’clock because I didn’t want to lie in bed waiting for the pill I took at the time to kick in. Ugh hence I watching TV for an hour to wait for the pill to kick in and then when eleven o’clock rolled around I felt sleepy so I crashed.

Also slept ok sort of but woke up around six o’clock with urges to pee. It sucked big time anyway. I got up and went then after that laid in bed waiting for me to make up my mind on what to do. I think I fell asleep for two hours or three hours. Not sure.

Anyway I woke up around the nine o’clock hour as a result.

I hate eBay. I saw a set of books by author P.C. Cast going to be on sale online eBay with no one buying them yet. I saw that the buying period was going to end in like forty minutes. It sucks big time when the ending period to buy those books caused me to buy them right away. Ugh even when I don’t have the money in my bank account for them. Ugh not happy about that at all.

Oh well.

Also I’ve been meaning to save some money on the side for Sam’s vet bill I’m sure I’ll get. She scratched her right ear heavily in front of me last night while on my lap. I wrote a note involving that down onto a piece of paper. I was hoping to avoid having her go to the vet for an appointment on her ear. Ugh.

Poor kitty when she has vet appointments stresses me out actually. Plus it’s stressful having to take her to the vet. I don’t care for that vet appointments. Yuck.

I’m just hoping that Pay Pal will take awhile before deducting the money from my bank account. Perhaps not till like Tuesday when I get my monthly deposit. I’m hoping. Just my luck Pay Pal will deduct before Tuesday making me get a bank overcharge status.

Ugh. It’ll mean putting money into my bank account from my books to cover that book buying. Ugh nuts.

Also whatever money I have in my bank account I spend it off e-books online Barnes and Noble’s website using Pay Pal. I really should save my money instead of spending it onto e-books I won’t read or take awhile for me to read. It's terrible big time when I won’t be reading much e-book wise. Ugh.

I snatched the baby cute kitten up for a hug fest and some kisses. She kitty kissed me in response then got out of my arms. Aw cute! Love that bundle of fur galore! She’s so cute!

I wound up with Melissa here in my apartment. I peeked out the window and saw her park her car. I had to go out of the apartment to tell her where to park which she obeyed.

We sorted my clothes’ closet that lasted like ten minutes so I wound up sorting my books in bookcases including magazines in bookcases and my videos and DVDs. Ugh I think I stirred up lots of dust that made me hot as heck as a result. I had to shower after Melissa left and exchanged my clothes.

The voice talked during my showering and aggravated the paranoia. I wound up reading muse talk via a story a reborn status involving one character named Eric. I thought the story would amuse me for awhile. So I fixed Eric’s story for a bit till the voice and paranoia went away. I think around two forty five is when I text emailed dad to take me out grocery shopping. He agreed and gave me the time of three o’clock.

I wound up taking all the twenties and tens from my books and left my five dollar bills in there. I figured I’ll save every single five dollar bill I get as change money into my books. This savings is in honor of Gramma giving me five dollar bills. Something I’m hoping to continue the tradition of saving every single five dollar bill into books for as long as I can withstand that and avoid spending those five dollar bills. Ugh.

After that I went grocery shopping.
The voice kept on claiming “Bank is closed.”
Commentary over and over while I was going to the store to drop off sixty bucks worth of my books money. Ugh. The bank turned out to be open so I dropped off that sixty bucks into deposit. I now am not going to be overdrawn at the moment. It’s good that I dropped the money anyway. Nice.

After the money drop off me went grocery shopping. I bought about seventy or around that amount worth of food. I used my own twenty dollar bill I had in my wallet to pay for some laundry detergent. I bought the pads type of laundry detergent. I figured I’ll try those and see how the pads or pods whatever their called goes.

After grocery shopping I got home and munched on some food then made sure to put some food away too.

I wound up putting into my book fifteen dollars worth of fives into there from using a twenty dollar bill to purchase laundry pads or pods. Not sure what to call them. Ugh.

Also I have almost ten bucks worth of coins into my corset purse. I’ve meant to take that coinage money to the bank and see if they can give me some dollar amount for it. I was hoping to save about ten bucks worth of coins so I can give to the bank for ten bucks in return. Problem is I’m sure that money needs to be rolled up. It stinks big time when I’m sure that banks will required rolled up money. Ugh. Not what I had in mind anyway.

I forgot to buy more cat food from Stop and Shop. The bag involving Sam’s food is getting low. I didn’t bother to buy more of that stuff. I could have but I didn’t write myself a note to bother. This forgetting sucks big time ugh.

I wound up text emailing mom to text email me. She didn’t bother to do that shitty text emailing at all. I called her at 6 p.m. which she picked up after I tried to leave a message. Ugh goody.

Anyway somewhere during the phone call the voice started to aggravate me involving forgetting something. The voice was chanting its familiar wording involving me forgetting to do something over and over.
Ugh kept on hearing “Forgetting some.”
Ugh mostly over and over till I remembered I forgot to buy Sam more cat food. Rats this sucks big time.

Also means I’ll have to walk to CVS in the morning despite the rain and go buy that bag of cat food I need. Ugh also pick up my prescription too. CVS text emailed me that they have a prescription for pickup. It’ll mean dipping into my book again.

Ugh I had to dip into my book to put money into my bank account’s checking so I could avoid an overdrawn charge via buying a set of books off eBay. I do hope I actually read those damned books despite buying them. Ugh terrible big time.

Also I’ve been meaning to limit myself to fifty bucks of purchasing stuff off eBay. It’s the same for limiting me for purchasing e-books too. I’ve meant to limit one hundred dollars for purchasing stuff online eBay and via buying e-books too. Ugh.

I also meant to save some money on hand for Sam’s vet bill. She’s managed to heavily scratch her ear while in front of me one night while on my lap. I’m just a bit worried that she has ear mites or something involving allergies again. Ugh.

I hate vet appointments. Yuck drives me crazy on having to catch Sam then stuff her into the cat carrier followed by waiting forever for Dad’s arrival to drive me to the vet’s office or animal hospital. Ugh really annoying!

"Ugh really annoying!" echoed the schizophrenia.
Just hoping I get around to scrubbing the house with a good cleaner. I think my sorting on Saturday stirred up too much dust that I need to vacuum some more.

Also the dust stirring up got me hot as a result. The hotness triggered the voice to blare including aggravating the paranoia to go off. I wound up reading muse talk as a result. I habitually read muse talk while I'm suffering from an attack of schizophrenia. I don't bother with a book but I should anyway.

I'm currently reading "Written in Red" by Anne Bishop. I found that book pretty good. I've been meaning to read more of Bishop's book last night but I focused onto the TV instead. Oh well how terrible.

Mom says "TV is boring."
She doesn't like TV very much. She pretty much prefers to read a book instead. Just do. Well that's nice when she's a big book reader when I'm not much of that book reading thing.

Just tired today. I might as well go take a nice nap if I can snooze.

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boo hoo!

Apr. 20th, 2016 | 04:59 pm
mood: annoyedannoyed

I wound up reading a story in “The Assassin’s Blade” till like Ellen’s show came onto the TV is when I quit reading. I wound up hot and bothered with the tinnitus noisy singing after I finished the fourth story in that book. There’s like five stories actually. Ugh.

I swear I get hot and bothered when I read teens' novels hence the tinnitus gets involved. It's the same for the voice getting involved when I read teens' novels. I got the voice involved when I read "Panic" by some forgettable author I don't care for. I thought the e-book version was terrible and deleted it from my e-reader after I finished the story.

Anyway last night I didn’t relax even during Ellen’s show. I was rather stressed because of dad text emailing me of the repairman from Charter coming over. Ugh. Also a bit stressed about eating dinner and awaiting Maureen’s visit including Eddie’s visit and Jenna’s visit. Ugh again. This made the tinnitus loudly singing as a result. Ugh really annoying!

I think around 7pm is when I relaxed. It was when everybody left to my relief. After that I phoned mom but she ignored me so I text emailed her to text email me. Ugh mom text emailed me around 7:30pm is when I wound up on the phone for an hour. She whined of the landlord making a hole in her apartment’s walls. Ugh after that mom whined of needing to cover that hole so she hung up without a word including the operator. Really rude!

After that hung up I wound up waiting like ten minutes to phone mom again. This time mom was on the phone for thirty minutes but around 9pm we quit the phoning. I wound up exchanging my clothes to pajamas and sat down watching a rerun of “Fixer Upper.”

Ugh HGTV has been rerunning shows lately instead of anything new. Ugh I don’t get it at all. But at the 10pm hour they showed something new like this new show “Good Bones” based in Indianapolis, Indiana involving a mother and daughter duo. Seemed interesting show so I watched that till it ended at 11pm is when I crashed. Ugh.

I slept fine with the baby cat cuddle bumming me. Cutie was cold I guess. Aw cute. Also I woke up with her cuddling me so I petted her galore including giving her cute head rubs. Then before I showered I picked her cuteness up for a nice hug. She kitty kissed me in response. Aw cute like I said. I love that little munchkin galore. She’s so cute.

Officially broke at the moment. I don’t have much money left in my checking account. I blew some money onto some books off eBay. I bought three books by Sarah Douglas involving her series called “The Troy Game.” Ugh. Also blew around twenty five bucks onto some paperback books of J.R. Ward’s “Black Dagger Brotherhood” series. Ugh this sucks big time.

Now I’m just depressed that I blew some money off books online eBay. I don’t even know what I thinking when it comes to the money was blown status. I suspect that I was urged to blow that money when I saw the total via cell phone. Just a bad habit or something I think. Ugh.

I noticed when the money is in a high number via cell phone I get urged to blow it off stuff online eBay and the internet’s website Barnes and Noble where I purchase e-books galore. I barely have twenty dollars in my bank account after today’s blown on books off eBay. This sucks.

I'm talking about my checkbook via cell phone. The high number I had listed onto there made me want to spend the money as a result. Hence I broke now. Ugh.

I tell myself over and over to avoid spending money off junk online but I won't listen to myself. I keep on spending that money off junk online. Just rather annoying.

This makes me depressed as a result. I don’t even know of what to do other than avoid buying more e-books and books off the websites. This purchasing is bound to make me depressed terribly. Ugh hence I upset at the moment and just not sure of what to do now. Oh well. This does seem terrible big time.

Plus I’m trying to save some money into my bank account but it stink big time when I’m spending that money off stuff online. Like buying lots of e-books including books off websites like Barnes and Noble and eBay. This is terrible when I can’t seem to save any money and avoid spending it off the internet.

Ugh. I do wish I could bother to stop being urged to spend my money off stuff online like eBay or Barnes and Noble. Ugh terrible big time.

Hence I quit that checkbook program onto my cell phone and is resorting to the computer when it comes to spending money including old fashioned paper. I figured that without that checkbook program I might as well avoid the urge to spend money galore off junk on eBay including lots of e-books some I won't read for awhile. Ugh.

I do wish I could avoid this unnecessary spending of stuff and just start saving money into my bank accounts instead. Just save my money for awhile building it up for a bit so I can afford to take care of Samantha my cutie cat.

I currently have one hundred dollars saved into my books at the moment I can’t touch. It’s money for Sam’s vet’s bill. She’s getting older and will get sick one of those days. I need to start saving money into my books. Plus stop taking money out of my books for spending off frivolous things. Ugh. Not what I had in mind to do with the money into my books. Yuck.

Plus the bank is deducting three dollars from checking account every month because the total isn’t one thousand dollars or above that amount. Ugh I hate that deduction but nothing I can do involving that deduction. It sucks big time.

Also I do wish I could get Maureen into my bedroom to help me sort my books including getting rid of a bookcase so I can avoid the cluttered status in there. I don’t care for the clutter in my bedroom full of boxes and bookcases and toys. Ugh it’s the pits anyway.

I can’t wait to get Microsoft excel into my computer. I liked to be able to do some calculations including math and lists onto it. I did manage to text email dad a request for that including a website for it. I just want to use that program for my computer. Ugh.

Dad replied to my text email question about Microsoft excel. It appears the computer already has that program. Yay me!

Also I spent some time over an hour making lists with Microsoft excel. I made a Checkbook list including lists involving books. I figured it’s about time I used the computer as my checkbook instead of marking it via cell phone. Ugh.

I found if there are money amounts via cell phone I get urged to spend it. This sucks big time when I’m urged to spend that money amount till I’m broke again. Yuck. Hence I am using the damn computer as a reason to do my checkbook. I figured that the computer should be helpful I’m hoping. Ugh again.

Also I figured that it shouldn’t be a problem to avoid doing more additions or subtractions via cell phone’s checkbook. Instead I’ll just do it via computer and use the cell phone’s calculator to add and subtract. Ugh can’t wait to try this instead of the damned cell phone.


It’s going to take me awhile to get used to the computer for my checkbook’s status instead of doing that via cell phone. Plus start writing that down via checkbook’s paper form too.

Ugh not happy with getting rid of my checkbook’s statuses from my cell phone. I feel sort of lost without that thing onto my cell phone. I’ll have to get used to it one of those damn days. It sucks big time when I’ll have to use my damn checkbook and paper instead of cell phone.

I’m two thirds through two library books and have yet to bother to read either one of them today. I guess I’m fed up at the moment hence I pretty much preferred TV to the library books or reading anything. It’s the same for me typing my thoughts down than focusing onto the TV.

I’m like ninety eight pages away from finishing “The Assassin’s Blade” a prequel to “Throne of Glass” series by Sarah J. Maas. I found the series pretty good so far but I don’t remember much of the first book of the series “Throne of Glass.” I can barely remember what that book was about despite reading “Crown of Midnight” the second book of the series. Oh well.

I’m not even sure if I’ve read “City of Glass” by Cassandra Clare. I think I did but I don’t remember much of that book. Hence I am reading the second book of “The Mortal Instruments” series. I’m stuck on reading book four of that six book series. Its terrible big time when I can barely remember reading book one of that series. Ugh.

I’m like one hundred and seventy six pages away from finishing “The Bourbon Kings” by J.R. Ward. I aim to read that when I can tomorrow if I feel like it.

I figured I’m fed up with reading some books today hence my unwillingness to read anything book wise. Its stinks big time when I’m barely paying attention to the TV despite Ellen’s show is on now.

I pretty much preferred to type muse talk to my thoughts but I was in the mood to type something so I typed lists onto Microsoft excel followed by typing onto the computer my thoughts. I wanted really to type muse talk but I’m just not in the mood to bother. Ugh I guess I’m not keen today. Oh well.

Also I text emailed mom this morning “Its Beth its 8:50am I’m up so text email me phone wise.”
She ignored me and didn’t bother to reply to my text email. How rude of her!

Humph mom’s work shift is supposedly noon to five today. I think she got called to work early today or she went someplace to shower. Her shower is not operational hence she stuck without a shower at the moment. Ugh pity mom. Oh well.

Also I haven’t been in the mood for going outside for a walk today. I just wanted a day to stay home and relax. I was stressed out yesterday and wanted a day to stay home avoiding people and public crap. Ugh.

“Its Beth its 545pm home awaiting word phone wise so text e mail me mews.” My text email to mom’s cell phone which she better have an excuse for ignoring me this morning!
Humph! I don’t find it amusing that mom ignored me this morning when she could have bothered to text email me that she got work early or something like that.

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weekend of boredom and aggravations

Apr. 11th, 2016 | 07:23 am
mood: aggravatedaggravated

Saturday mom aggravated me by claiming that she would come up to see me via phone. She aggravated me by not text emailing me asap or bothering to let me know she was at the Auntie's home. Ugh.

I wound up typing something unflattering involving Mom via my computer journal. Mom chose that moment to let herself inside my home. Ugh. She won't use the doorbell but will let herself inside with her damn key. She's terrible big time anyway when it comes to letting me know of her presence. Oh well.

Mom and I went to Dunkin Donuts to eat lunch followed by visiting the library next door. I considered buying a book but I didn't have the money in my wallet. I only had some change so I opt not to buy a book.

Ugh mom dragged me to a museum on Torts law which I found boring to tears actually. I didn't feel like being there at all. Boring.

While I was at the museum I wound up aggravated by the voice. I think the aggravation involved me in the bathroom. I noticed the voice aggravates me when I'm in the bathroom processing number two. The voice is really annoying when it aggravates me. Ugh.

The voice didn't last that long attacking me when I left the bathroom. Mom wound up calming me to pay attention to her doing some reading of the exhibits. After that museum was done mom drove me home and dropped me off.

I wound up watching a HGTV marathon of "Fixer Upper" this Texas based show. This Texas show makes me want to live in Texas on a farm. I don't know how I would have withstand the flooding and tornadoes but I would have lived there anyway. It'll be entertaining living on a farm anyway with tons of cats and animals. How fun.

Saturday night I talked to mom via phone for over an hour then after that I focused onto HGTV's "Property Brothers." Nice show but they were showing reruns I didn't care for. Ugh.

Sunday I wound up waking up late as 9 a.m. in the morning. I guess I was tired or something. it sucked.

Well around 11:30 a.m. Dad arrived which I missed a result of a HGTV channel's British version of "Love it or List it." Ugh. Dad drove me to Amherst, Massachusetts where I attended a deaf social at a grocery store. I had food there paid by Dad then I spent over an hour talking to people who were deaf and hearing and learning sign language.

I think the voice got aggravated around 2:30 p.m. is when I insisted to dad to leave. He drove me to Barnes and Noble nearby but the paranoia was aggravated at the time along with the voice's blaring chanting too much. I couldn't withstand being in the bookstore. I insisted to dad to leave which he agreed going to Walmart next door. I concentrated onto Dad's feet following him around the store till he bought what he wanted and we left.

I was relieved when we got to the car which Dad drove me home. I wound up reading Nora Roberts' book "Summer Pleasures" It's two stories in one that are connecting together. I wound up reading that book while in the car ride to home.

I got home and wound up editing muse talk involving multiple stories just to get my mind off the inner noises. There were periods when the inner noises tempted me to go to bed and sleep it off but I didn't bother.

Mom wound up text emailing me as a result so I talked to her for thirty minutes then thirty minutes with muse talk. I was really creep out by the voice and paranoia. I wound up again talking to mom via phone but I made the phone call short as a result. Mostly used the muse talk excuse as a reason. It was just an excuse to get off the phone and focus onto muse talk for awhile.

I wound up editing one story involving lengthy sentences and stuff like that till like 11 p.m. is when the voice stopped its annoying chanting. I think around that time is when the voice quit but the paranoia was still there. I forced myself to bed as a result.

Sam the cutest cat ever cuddle bummed me during my sleep as a result. I wound up sleeping fine talking to myself some muse talk stories I was intending to type. I never got around to typing that down as a result. I wound up sleeping fine till morning woken up by bathroom and daylight. I did tried to sleep some more but I felt like I couldn't sleep so I got up.

I wound up slightly aggravated this morning with the voice and paranoia. I'm just hoping to do some vacuuming around here including cleaning the bathroom. I don't feel up to leaving my sanctuary home for anything today. My paranoia is slightly aggravated as a result. Ugh.

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